The Wilds of Weariness

Arya demanded this picture. If this wasn't her Baby I'd worry she wanted
proof of life.

This weekend has been one of trials and tribulations, for we have all been very sleepy.

Arya called me at around about six o'clock on Saturday morning. I hoped she might go back to sleep if I went in with her, but having moved I had to use the toilet, and so she got up as well. By the time we woke Hanna up, we were moving in to second breakfast territory and had already watched slightly more Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave than I was entirely comfortable with.

At Tumble Tots, Arya was quite clingy again, and I really do think that she finds the rest of the older group a little too boisterous, especially when she's tired. I don't blame her. I find them a bit much and I used to teach nine year olds.

Shot from above, Arya wierdly foreshortens
into a Pop.

We shopped and then went to the Country Park for a picnic. Arya was a little dubious about her new flipflops (although I suspect she would have been distraught this morning to find they were, as planned, left at my place, since she really wanted to show them off at nursery,) but had fun on the slides and trampoline and even climbed the weird cable frame a bit. All told, the big playground is perhaps just a little too visually stimulating, as she did occasionally wander a little close to occupied swings for comfort, but she had fun.

In the evening we had pizza, per her request of last week, which went down a treat (although I suspect that if she could leave out the bread part entirely she might.) Hanna made the dough for the base, which turns out to be way easier with a proper dough hook.

Arya got off to sleep pretty quickly, because she was knackered. I went in with her overnight to try to keep her settled, and we didn't get up until just before seven. Through the morning, I was very strict and we were light on the Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave (which I will write up on the other blog as a Watch with Father entry,) but Arya was increasingly tired and fractious. She got very upset when Mummy brushed her hair and tugged at the tangles, despite most if not all of the tugging happening when she moved her head. Likewise, when I took her for a bath she was initially keen, but after being very good with wetting her hair and doing the shampoo (I showed her how to work it through her hair for herself,) she refused to let me rinse.

"Put your head back and close your eyes."
"No! I don't want it in my eyes!"
"Put your head back and close your eyes and it won't go in your eyes."
"No! I don't want it in my eyes!"

I was literally ready to let her get out without rinsing and find out how gnarly her hair would get by the time Hanna came in to help, and Hanna had been asleep when we started, so I felt terrible; not just for waking Hanna, but for shouting at Arya. That's probably why we followed that by watching just about every episode of Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave on the iPlayer.

At about dinner time, Arya wanted to got to the park, which we did as she hadn't otherwise been out all day. We had to be quite brief, however, and to get her to leave I had to sort of promise ice cream. I don't intentionally offer bribes, it just works out that way. In this instance, she was standing on the zipline platform pretending to sell me ice cream while I tried to persuade her to leave and suddenly:

Good times.

"Can we get ice cream at the shop?"

"Maybe, if we go right now."

I know it's bad, but I was getting desperate. It's like how if you were locked in a glass case by a supervillain and it was slowly filling with water, you wouldn't not cut the glass just because you knew that the cutter was made using conflict diamonds.

Getting her ready for bed proved tricky, and I am increasingly concerned - which when I'm tired comes out as frustration - with her failure to understand washing hands. She knows what to do, and that we won't let her not wash her hands after using the toilet, but she puts it off and puts it off and sticks her fingers in her mouth while she's doing it.

And yet, for all that I know I will have an uninterrupted night's sleep and maybe a chance to get the theme tune to Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave out of my head, I feel sad watching her go. I miss her, and Hanna, during the weeks; that's part of why I feel bad when I let myself get frustrated with her in the time we do have together.

Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin

Money in the couch cushions.

Stage 1 McDuck's syndrome.

It's been a difficult weekend. Arya has been tired (in part due to the difficulties of the late sunsets) and scratchy, and after a week of night shifts Hanna has not been in the best state to deal with it. I've not been in the best state to deal with it all the time, but it feels frankly churlish to say so.

They arrived in time for dinner on Friday, but with Hanna already zoning out, and by the time I got Arya to sleep, we were pretty much down to a couple of episodes of The Muppets and then bed. Arya took forever to go down, fighting sleep so much that I had to threaten to leave at one point just to get her to lie down.

On Saturday morning we went to the library, returned our old books and got some new ones, and then headed home to take the car to Tumble Tots. I hurried her in because we were running late, but Arya flatly refused to settle in the room until Mummy had taken her in, then I had to take her back in after a toilet break. She seems to enjoy it when she's in there, but she's at the low end of the class still and some of the older kids are pretty boisterous. I suspect that she'll get more into it as they slip off to GymBobs.

We hit the shops and ended up getting something to eat there and then coming home for soup, since we'd got to pretty late in the day and Arya certainly needed something, and Hanna had missed breakfast. Hanna got a bit of a nap in and Arya and I chillaxed with some ponies, but after Hanna got up and I was working on dinner, things turned ugly. Upset that we wouldn't make her pizza on demand, Arya told Hanna that she wished she had a different family.

Teddy gets a piggy back.

Now, Arya was pretty distraught at how upset Hanna was by this, but seemed not to realise that it was her fault. I hope that this means that she didn't say it just to be mean, but because she'd heard it somewhere else. Eventually we persuaded her to apologise, but that's the second time she's said something like that in two weeks, so I am a little worried.

On Sunday morning Arya and I chilled out of the sofa and she counted the money in her piggy bank, which is a dinosaur. Then she decided we would play a game where she was a pig, hiding behind a cushion, and I was a wolf, so of course I huffed and puffed and blew the pillow away, then tried to eat her. She was not happy about this at all, and it turns out doesn't really know the story. I gave her a quick version to reassure her, then told her I wasn't a wolf anymore and asked if she wanted a cuddle, which she did, and then we watched some Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave by way of my penance.

In the afternoon, we all went to the park, where we let Arya go most of the way on the zipline on her own and encouraged her to slide down the pole on the big climbing frame. She slipped and bashed her cheek; not badly, but fortunately she wasn't sharp enough to realise that she could have got me to do practically anything to make it up to her.

We came home and she made a blanket fort with Mummy, and we all spent some time inside it, before she started trying to put things on the blanket fort and it began its inevitable collapse.

Whose house?

The rest of the evening was... trying. Tiredness built up and bathtime was a real challenge. She asked for Mummy, and so I got to duck a bullet, since whoever tried to wash her hair last night was going to catch it. She didn't stop crying until the Elsa hair was in place (it didn't help that the detangler spray broke.) I was very glad that when I went to get her pajamas she wanted to stay with Mummy, always a good sign that she's not holding a grudge.

She perked up a bit as we put her in the car, and said a chipper enough goodnight and a wave before they headed off. I also got my father's day cards before they left, but forgot to photograph them.

Able Baker

Sleeping on the train.

It was a slightly odd weekend.

Arya arrived with Daddy Andrew at about 9.30 on Friday, already asleep, which was impressive given how light the nights are. I has a bad dream overnight and, perhaps as a result, was a little over-protective all weekend.

On Saturday we got up and Arya wanted to play with her modelling clay. We made a couple of snails and then had breakfast, after which she wanted to make cakes and biscuits. I suggested we could do this after Tumble Tots. We got dressed and she asked why I had green paint on my clothes. I noted that someone accidentally painted me while painting a bird house.

"Mummy?"
"No, not mummy."

We set out on the usual Odyssey; Soham and back in just under seven hours (whee!) Getting there was easy enough, and once more I eased Arya in and reverse-Angeled* out. She had a lot of fun, although a couple of collisions with other children left her a little rattled. Still, she seemed chipper enough as we headed out, if a little hungry, and we walked some way past our usual stop to find somewhere we could get lollies, since it was rather hot.

In Ely we shopped and had lunch, although lunch for Arya was a bit of a let down. There was no hot chicken and the ready to eat gluten free options continue to be uninspiring. I honestly can't blame her for rejecting the Baby-bel or the alleged cheese provided with the Dairylea Dippers, which is probably why I bought her a Kinder egg on the way to the bus (because the train was cancelled due to spite.) We stopped at the playground in Jubilee Park and marveled at how much she's grown.

I adore this picture.

We got mad rained on as we walked the rest of the way to the bus stop, but on the plus side the bus was on time, and drops us off just across the way from home, rather than ten minutes out in a potential storm.

Back at home she played with her toys, especially her modelling clay, and watched the two new Sarah & Duck DVDs (which means I can clear another 20 episodes off the Sky box!) We didn't bake, because it was getting on for four o'clock and because she'd instead opted for purchasing cake in Tesco.

We had dinner and Arya decided that she wanted a bath. I started getting her ready and she said to me: "Was it you who painted your clothes?"

I explained that no, it was her, but I knew it wasn't on purpose. I guess she must have been absolutely convinced that it wasn't her, however, since she apparently took offence and immediately told me: "I didn't want to go with you. I wanted to stay with Mummy and Daddy Andrew at Daddy Andrew's house."

I've got to say, that was unexpected, and it stung. I guess I get where it was coming from, but it's one thing for her to prefer one Daddy or the other some times, but for her to say she didn't want to visit me, even in anger, was quite a blow.

I let Daddy Andrew give her a bath, and she asked for me again once she was washed. I helped out with her dolphins for a while and we had a bit of a conversation, and Mummy called which went down well, although clearly Arya's telephonic gambits are limited to 'hello', 'love you very much' and 'BYE!' She was keen to stay in the bath, so I offered an episode of Pajanimals while I got her dry.

Arya baked wearing her Rapunzel princess
dress.

That night, she woke up at about two because the rain was hammering on the skylight, which meant I didn't sleep so well. Then at six she woke up again and was thrown by not being in with Daddy Andrew. Thus when Hanna called on her way home from work, we'd already been up a couple of hours.

"What are you up to?"
"Baking cakes!"
"At eight thirty?"

We made cupcakes and biscuits and had pizza for lunch. The first round of pizzas was made by Arya, in the kitchen in her little house, by piling her chopping fruit and veg into a pan and putting it in the oven. After lunch, Arya played with her vets' set and gave Andrew medicine; first to make him sick and then to make him well. A career in human testing or the cult of Nurgel beckons. I like to think she'll find a niche in medically-based supervillainy; it's the romantic in me.

They headed off fairly early, and I hope didn't get caught in too much rain. They took a bunch of cupcakes and biscuits with them to share with Mummy. Sunday was a lovely day, despite my exhaustion, and we had lovely cuddles, so I don't feel too bad about our little bust up, but it worries me that she might have intentionally been hurtful I'd rather she didn't learn that for a while.

On the upside, I have a TARDIS full of biscuits.

* Every time she looked away I moved a little further back.

I'm not Biscuit

Bunny!

Hanna was away this weekend, and as Tumble Tots was off for the half-term, I went down to Ipswich to help look after Arya.

I got there at about six, and picked her up from the nursery as Andrew was running late due to bus delays. She seemed perfectly happy reading with the helpers, but still ran over as soon as she saw me, which as nice. We headed home for dinner and cuddles, and I took her to bed, which was typically difficult. She really doesn't want to go to sleep at the moment, fighting it as long as possible. Given what happened on Sunday night, I wonder if she's started having bad dreams, and having done it once is concerned about recurrence.

She was also very insistent that she was Arya, not Biscuit, a statement I only understood when Andrew mentioned her 'Empire name' later that weekend. While good at pretending, she remains attached to her proper name.

On Saturday we got up and went into town to visit a craft fair. She had a great time running around the church where it was held, but got a bit bummed out about being told not to touch things. I do think one of the stallholders was much sharper than she needed to be, basically assuming that small child = heedless destroyer, where actually Arya is capable of considerable delicacy. I'm not saying she had no grounds for concern, just that she didn't need to be so snappy about it. We came out of the fair to find that the weather had turned brutally pleasant while we were indoors.

Ice cream.

We got some drinks and then went to Christchurch Park, and thence to Ipswich's new fascist paramilitary ice cream parlour, decorated in disco Goth black and pink, where ice cream is sold without joy and the shift manager legitimately seems to feel comfortable insisting on being called 'Chef.*' The ice cream itself was nice, but the gluten free selection was not good. The quantities were fairly epic, even in Arya's three scoop ice cream, and I'm proud to say that she made no attempt to eat the whole thing; just what she was comfortable eating.

Sunday was a fairly quiet day, with trips to the park across the common and the little shop with its sit-in school bus. Arya asked for a bag of sweets, despite having had ice cream, and I decided to try to make a learning experience of it. I said she could have the sweets, but she would have to share with both Daddies, and save some to share with Mummy when Mummy got home. She did this very well, offering them around and then holding back a good third of the packet.

Having found a set of face paints, she insisted that I draw a rainbow on her face, and then that her Baby wanted a butterfly. She painted the latter, although the butterfly shape rapidly fell away. The rainbow was understandably a bit of a disappointment when she eventually saw it.

On Monday morning, Arya woke from a bad dream and wanted Daddy Andrew. She was saddened when he left for work, but the fact that she opted to have breakfast with Mummy and me instead of at nursery consoled me. I dropped her off at nursery and she seemed perfectly happy to be there, and it made me feel like a proper part of her life to do it.

I took Monday off so I could get my pills without having to lose Saturday morning, and I'm glad I did. It meant that I had Friday evening, all Saturday and Sunday, and Monday morning with her, and some time to spend with Hanna to boot.

* In fairness, it might have been his name.

Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting (Sleep)

Cereal shoplifter.

This weekend was a bit of a treat, as I got to spend it with both my girls. Hanna wasn't working, so they came over late on Friday and stayed until this morning.

This weekend was a Sarah & Duck weekend, rather than ponies, and we watched a bit on Saturday morning before heading out to Tumble Tots. She's definitely more clingy with me than with Mummy at TT, and I wonder if that's because I leave her every Monday so she worries about me coming back. She settled quick enough once I walked her through the first couple of climbs and I watched from the door as she looked around for me, then figured what the heck and started bouncing on the trampoline.

We went into Cambridge and did shoe shopping, picking up a new pair of shoes and a pair of sandals for Arya. Then we had lunch at Kimmoy, our favourite Chinese restaurant we can't order from since leaving Cambridge. We had the cheap lunch buffet and even that was pretty damn good. Then a cash machine ate Hanna's bank card, which was less good.

After grumping around most of Waitrose, Arya got up and started running around, apparently trying to lose me around the specialty breads. I actually lost track of her for a moment and was scared she'd get lost, but she headed unerringly back to Mummy and all was well. Back at home, Mummy had a nap and Arya refused to let me slip off to get dinner ready, so we ate quite late in the end.

I... have no idea.

She ate some dinner and fussed about going to bed, but eventually got her head down. It feels like what it comes down to these days is waiting her out until she's too tired to force herself to stay awake. After a while she finds a comfy spot and goes out like a light, but she really doesn't want to sleep, probably because of the light.

Still, only another month until the days start getting shorter.

On Sunday we opted for a lazy day with a picnic lunch in the park, but then the Morris Dancers came...

I was getting the picnic ready when I heard the sound of an accordion in the car park, and sure enough there they were when Hanna and Arya went out to look. They were there for the 200th anniversary of the Littleport Riots, and spooked Arya a little with their stick bashing and face paint, which is odd because you'd have thought she'd have been all up for that sort of thing. Perhaps she would if she could have joined in.

She's behind me, isn't she?

Anyway, we went up to Ely Country Park again (Arya remembered going with Daddy and Daddy, and that Mummy hadn't been there) and spent a couple of hours getting lightly broiled while Arya explored a climbing frame. At first she constantly wanted my help, but really got the hang of it before we finished. Then there was ice cream and a last bounce on the trampoline and home. She got briefly worried that we were some way behind Mummy on the path to the car park and someone else was following her, but Mummy didn't accidentally take home a different child and a skinny brunette instead of yours truly, so that was okay.

Dance, Dance Revolution!

Back at home, I tried to get Arya to take a bath. She refused, and actually got quite snappy with me, but then she had an accident and once we'd got her sorted she was all 'Bathtime now!' In fairness, once she was in she was super good, and even made only marginal fuss over having her hair washed. Once I announced that we were done with the rinsing, instead of immediately demanding to come out of the water, she asked: "Can I play now?" and proceeded to spend a fair while playing with her whistling dolphins, two of whom appear to have become brother and sister crime fighters of some kind.

Of course, then she refused to leave the bath, even when I'd let the water out, until she needed the toilet again.

She absolutely inhaled her lasagne, and we headed for bed in decent time, but once more she was restless. In fact, I got kicked quite a bit as she tossed and turned, eventually complaining of a tummy ache - she needed the loo again, but didn't seem seriously ill; she might have been a little overheated from the day, however - and once more did not go to sleep until gone half-eight.

Water Baby

Station bench or magical gateway?

This weekend, I went away to play games, but on Thursday I got to spend the day with Arya.

Hanna and Arya picked me up at the park and ride and we made our way home for a quiet evening. On Thursday, Hanna headed off for work and I laid out my plan for the day to Arya: We would go to the library, then into Ely to go swimming. I checked the library opening times, and realised that it doesn't open at all on Thursday mornings.

So, we went to the station and missed a train, then waited an hour for the next one while Arya got bored.

"I want to go home now."
"All right. It's a shame, but we can go if you really..."
"I want to go swimming."
"Oo-kay..."

So, eventually we got to Ely and walked to the pool. It's quite a trek, and past her favourite playground, so she wanted to stop off there, but I pushed on through to the pool, promising we'd come to the park on the way back.

We'd not been to the Paradise Pool in Ely before, but it's actually pretty nice. The training pool has a sloped bottom going from 0-90cm, so Arya could walk in herself to about halfway. We did some jumping in and rudimentary swimming, but after however long it was mostly about getting her used to the pool again, and she was amazingly confident. I'd forgotten her new waterwings, ring and shampoo, so we rinsed hair - or as Arya would have it to judge by the cries, committed bloody murder - afterwards and went to get dry, only for Arya to take the towels, shove them back into a locker and announce that they were 'in the washing up' and couldn't be used.

Whee!

Eventually we got out and we did visit the park, even though that left us too late for the library. She had a lot of fun, but she was tired and a couple of falls took the wind out of her sails. We bought some plasters for her knee (with princesses on) and an ice cream because it was hot, then headed home for simple dinner and chilling with ponies.

On Friday we spent some time together, including an hour to get her dressed. There were some tears when I left, and she seemed pleased as punch to see me when I got home. I'm told she was quite the little beast on Saturday night, but went to sleep wonderfully for me on Sunday. I hope she was just playing up because she missed me, rather than playing favourites or trying to flannel me.

They left early Monday, Arya just about waking up enough to say goodbye.

Bang Bang, I Hit the Ground

"Yee-haw"

This weekend was once more sans Mummy, as Hanna was working and being serenaded by one of the country's top chap hop artistes (grown up Arya, there is a video.)

The most notable thing about the weekend was that the weather was gorgeous. After weeks of cold, grey and rain, Spring apparently decided to take a pass and hand straight on to Summer. It was warm, bright and breezy, like the more likable kind of manic pixie dream girl. We did somewhat regret not having Arya's hat with us, but she mostly made up for it by wearing mine.

We got up on Saturday and, after a pretty painless morning headed for the train for Tumble Tots. Arya did not try to leave the platform or complain that she wanted to go home, although she did steal my Ribena and leave me with the Tesco fruit smoothie. So it goes. She was reluctant to leave us to go into the hall, but very quickly got involved enough not to notice us slip out again. She came out looking exhilarated, and we all agreed that it would be lovely to have a picnic in Ely Country Park.

And then the bus was late, and not just a little bit late. Arya got very bored of the wait, and fell over running around on the little stretch of pavement wide enough not to get too close to the road. At that point she decided that she totally wanted to go straight home. Fair enough, I thought, and if she'd stuck by that we could always have had the picnic in Littleport. As it was, after we'd shopped she was back on board.

This photo is taken from the spot that a) has
the best view of both the steps and the slide,
and b) has a deathtrap of a collapsed
mole hole. Fun times.

It was about a ten minute walk to the Country Park, by which point we'd had one ice cream each and the others were already pretty much done for in the heat. We ate, and drank still lemonade with apple and blackberry out of plastic picnic bomb shot glasses (I'd mock Andrew more for picking them up, but seriously, why do they even exist? I can hardly blame him for not checking.) After lunch, Arya had a run around, climbing to the big slide several times (and often not even sliding, but clambering down the artificial hill in a very worrying way.) At last she told me she needed the toilet, but wanted to come back and play more. I said that was fine, as long as we went quickly to Sainsbury's, but then things went a little wonky.

Arya decided she would rather stay at the park, but having told me she needed a poo, I wanted her to at least try. We dawdled to the Sainsbury's where she didn't need the toilet and wanted to ride on a mobility scooter. Since she was obviously getting tired and time was ticking along, we headed home, which elicited some protests, although she was very happy with her fruit shoot lolly, which was the nearest the cafe had to an actual cold drink. Everything was fine then until we got to Littleport station, where Andrew lifted her down and she got upset because she'd wanted me to do it. Unfortunately, Littleport needs a certain amount of alacrity as they tend to close the doors pretty quickly.

Ding!

Arya insisted on following Andrew down the ramp instead of me down the stairs, but then dashed off along the platform. I followed as fast as I dared (as much as I don't want her rushing off across the platform, I want her fleeing from me even faster far less) and she decided to run down the ramp, tripping and falling. She scraped her knee and her hand and dinged her face pretty good as well, poor mite.

We went home and I sat with her watching Sarah & Duck and other CBeebies treats while Andrew got my prescription and sorted the washing up, as she wouldn't let me out of her sight for a while. Reading this back, it sounds like it was a difficult day, but it really wasn't, and where it was, it was mostly so due to the heat and resulting tiredness. Also, despite her refusal to even try to go at Sainsbury's and a last minute panic, Arya made it through the day without accidents.

Arya, Meerkat and flower.

I took her to bed and got her settled, then she asked me to swap out for Daddy Andrew. I was cool with that, and said goodnight. An hour later I checked in and they were both asleep, so I left them to it.

On Sunday I woke up stupid early, just because that's how it was. Once Arya was up I ran her a bath, but Andrew had to bathe her because I was almost literally falling-down tired. Then I took Arya to the park while Andrew cooked lunch. We took Meerkat as Doggy and Teddy weren't around*, and she found some discarded carnations and decided to bring one back for Mummy**.

We chilled for a bit, had lunch, and Arya played with her Duplo, and then it was time to go back to Martlesham. Arya was very affectionate, but went without a fuss, which feels like real progress. She's come on leaps and bounds over the last year and I am so very proud of her.

* Doggy may be missing. I'm worried about Teddy, having to look for him while breaking in a new partner.
** She also insisted we keep an ice cream by for Mummy.