The Wild-Haired Dancer

Flump.

It's been a tough weekend this one. We had all three parents around, but Arya was determined that she wanted to sleep in with Mummy and Daddy Luke. This meant that, twice, I was woken up at four-thirty in the morning by Andrew bringing Arya through from her room. If she'd gone straight back to sleep, this would have been fine, but the truth is that there isn't the space in the bed anymore. She tries, bless her, but what usually happens is that I get forced to the edge of the bed, then she squiggles anyway and wakes Hanna, and then we're all getting pushed back and forth and no-one is getting sleep. We've reached a stage where Arya actually knows that she's tired, but I haven't yet convinced her that not trying to fit in with us is the answer.

Anyway, we dragged our carcasses out of bed on Saturday and, true to predictions, despite the fact that Hanna was here to drive we still ended up rushing to ballet. Andrew and I dashed in with her and got her changed, but feeling more pressure than there was, I sent her in with her hair loose, having shaken loosen from the bun I'd tied it in earlier (which was a thing of beauty, I tell you.) We had a nice chat with the other parents, commiserating with the mum from Virginia over her newly inaugurated President, until Arya came out, looking as if she'd had a great time. Obviously, this was a great advance on last week, so we paid for the half-term.

Easy rider.

After ballet Arya got a ride on the teacups, then we went shopping. We went to Sainsbury's particularly to get some more chocolate cereal for Arya, but they were out. Instead we picked up not-specifically-gluten-free Moana branded cereal, because Arya does love her some Disney(1). Then we headed to Tumble Tots, where she went in without a fuss but refused the yellow t-shirt; she said it was because it wasn't pink, and we think she may be reacting to being told she has to wear dark blue for school.

After that... Well, I'm going to be honest here. After that, we went home and crashed hard. We did take Arya out on her bike for a bit, and Hanna and Arya made some cookies before Hanna went out for the evening, but mostly we watched My Little Pony and mellowed out. It wasn't the best of times, but it was very nice having her snuggle up next to me on the sofa. Too much TV watching is bad, but I do wonder if we undervalue a little bit of quiet time.

On Sunday I was good for almost nothing, and probably a little better off than Hanna. Andrew was a trouper and put together a grand lunch, while Arya and I crashed on the sofa and Hanna passed out again in bed. We watched TV, ate chicken and then they went off home by way of the supermarket. Arya opted to go with them instead of waiting for me while they shopped, but I consider this a plus. I can't deny that it's flattering when she wants to stay with me, but I'd rather she was happy with any of us. Anyway, they're back this evening (Monday) for Arya's school taster day tomorrow, so expect another midweek Ersatz.

(1) Sadly, this seems to include The Little Mermaid, complete with its not-so-scary bad lessons.

On the Buses

While you're awwing, I would invite you to note that her feet are all over my
side of the bed.

Hanna was working this weekend, and when not working was on call in case a delivery became available. It did, she got it, and this is awesome, but it did mean we had to face the dreaded bus weekend.

Andrew brought Arya up on the train and I decanted her from the pushchair to my bed, figuring we'd go with that again as it meant Andrew could sleep in her room and we should all get a decent night's sleep.

I reckoned without the Coriolis effect, which as we all know causes children in the southern hemisphere to rotate clockwise while they sleep, and children in the northern hemisphere to rotate anticlockwise. It's a purely natural phenomenon, which is small comfort when you wake at three in the morning with your daughter slumbering peacefully with her toes wedged underneath you and forcing your spine to contort awkwardly. Still, I managed to get up in good time, and wake Arya up for actual breakfast. Then things got a little slower because Arya wanted to help with everything, but we made the bus (by the skin of our teeth) and got into ballet. There, Arya was skittish, apparently because she needed the toilet but didn't want to say, and once I'd got her changed and wanted to do her hair, she decided that she didn't want to do ballet, now or ever, although no we couldn't give the uniform to someone else.

In the end, I had to take her in and stay for half the lesson before being able to slip out, and she still came to the door to check I was right outside. Afterwards, she insisted on a proper change before leaving, but she was good about it and we managed to catch the bus to Soham handily. Unfortunately, not being able to leave the studio during the lesson meant that I hadn't got anything for snacks, so Andrew had to go up the road and find the only shop in Soham to buy what he could - Dairylea Dunkers, Quavers(1) and ham, plus a bottle of Ribena - so that Arya could eat and drink. Arya was somewhat distraught that the drinking fountain at the school was out of order, but went in to Tumble Tots like an absolute champ and asked for the toilet when she came out.

Basically, the thing about Saturday was that she was tired; she hadn't got to sleep until well past nine and then we woke her at about seven. This meant that she had little to work with between 'manic energy' and 'everything is terrible'. Bedtime was thus a hoot. She ate her mostly homemade(2) chicken korma beautifully, but then she began refusing to do her bedtime routine right up to the point that we had both told her that she was out of chances and she was going to sleep in her bed on her own. Cue tears, and... I feel kind of bad, because I know what was going on. She wasn't mucking about to be naughty, but because finishing up her prep meant going to bed and not being with Daddy and Daddy anymore. She wanted us to chase her; she wanted us to pay attention to her. We wanted her to go to bed and not be so tired in the morning; seriously, the difference after a couple of decent nights last week was astonishing.

"No selfies!"

Eventually we got her into bed. She struggled with sleep and eventually lost, but it was not an easy night, and when I went to bed she once more swung her feet over. I tried to move her and she half-woke to complain 'but I'm cosy'. I did what I could with the feet and mostly slept okay, but was only partly successful in letting her lie in as she woke to a leaky nappy, poor mite.

There ensued a grand old time as we tried to focus her on any one thing and she bounced around:

"I'm wet!"
"Well, let's get your shorts and nappy off and get you dressed, then..."
"Wait(3)! My morning vitamin!"
"How about we get you dressed first, or at least out of..."
"No, my morning vitamin!"

After we'd got her out of the nappy, then given her a vitamin, then got her dressed, then weathered a storm of tears, established that she was upset because Daddy Andrew had put her into the wrong pair of knickers (she'd handed him two from the box without further explanation,) persuaded her that asking properly would be better than wailing, changed her knickers because she'd asked nicely, then got her dressed again, it was time for bed.

Breakfast! I mean it was time for breakfast. It just felt like it was time for bed(4).

Sunday was an unashamedly lazy day. We sat out, played some Where's My Water? and watched My Little Pony. We had a big, latish lunch of pasta and cheese - over which we discussed the possibility of Arya making conversation as an attention getter, rather than rubbing cheese sauce on her clothes -and I saw them off at about half three with a care package of apples and rice cakes and Ribena, because I didn't want them to be travelling after it got seriously dark and cold. Arya tried to delay and ended up in tears. I wanted to cuddle her forever, and instead had to agree to look after her sticker book for her, promise to see her soon (she and Hanna will be over tonight for a school thing,) and slip Andrew the last of the jelly babies of courage.

Some time later, Hanna dropped me a line to ask me to give Andrew something to bring home and I realised that the plan had been to send them back after dinner to meet Hanna at the station.

(1) Not gluten free.
(2) Sauce was from a jar.
(3) "Wait" is one of her phrases of the moment. Another is "what in tarnation." Thanks for that one, My Little Pony.
(4) As a rule of thumb, the number of photos of Arya I manage to take is inversely proportional to how tired I am.

Guilt

"My lips are sealed."

Okay, so... I'm feeling very guilty at the moment, and I'm trying not to, because I'm pretty sure that feeling guilty is part of the problem.

Andrew brought Arya over on Friday night, with a minor detour to Downham Market. She arrived mostly asleep, waking up enough to look at me and cuddle the tiger, but not really enough to notice anything. Once more, she woke me up early by calling me in to help her use the toilet, which is pretty good going. For the record, this weekend was accident free.

We went to ballet on the bus, which meant a super-early start (by Saturday standards.) We caught the bus at eight and reached the studio before it was open, but that did give us lots of time to get her changed and ready. She wanted me to come into class with her, where I discovered that, as I suspected, my flexibility is completely shot overall, although I can plie like a boss. When they did their gallops, Arya was paired off with the new assistant because 'you're very sensible'. I was so proud.

After that, we got her into the pushchair and bussed off to Tumble Tots. Halfway there she decided that she absolutely didn't want to do Tumble Tots; that it was the Devil's work. Fortunately she agreed to reassess this decision once she'd had a snack, and in the end went in all on her own with no fuss whatsoever. We didn't see her until she came out with a sticker over her mouth (strictly her choice; they always stick them to the t-shirt.) Getting home was a bit of a struggle, what with rain and buses and all. In the end we caught a train back to Littleport, but that did give us a chance to have a toastie in Costa, which by that point we really needed.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet and companionable - what there was of it; we didn't get home until after 3 from out 8 o'clock start - and I did pasta and cheese for dinner. Arya gobbled it up, which was especially impressive since the cheese in the sauce was about 50% somewhat venerable brie with a very strong flavour.

Unlocking the fast travel system.

And then of course it was bedtime, and that's where the trouble started. She got into bed just fine, but then she wouldn't settle. She wanted her meditation book, but she kept trying to mess with the phone. If I was there, she talked to me, and if I left she'd get hold of the phone and play with it. When I tried to leave her to settle, she also begged me not to go. I told her that I was happy to sit with her while she went to sleep, but she had to be ready and settled and right now she wasn't, to which she replied: "I'm sorry; it's all my fault."

Apparently I've somehow managed to teach her self-loathing already. This is what I mean about me feeling guilty being the problem.

Anyway, I went out and Andrew went in for a bit and promised that I'd go back if she settled, and when I went in five minutes later she was out like a light. I'm pretty much certain by now that she isn't sleeping for me because she wants to spend more time with me. She may even be worried that she'll wake up and not be there anymore.

Arya made that big thing at the back, inasmuch as she stuck a few extra bits
onto the Bat-carrier that Daddy Andrew made to transport the Batmobile.

In the morning she woke me by knocking on my door, which was adorable (I'd say no pun intended, but that would be disingenuous.) We had breakfast and chilled for a bit. Arya played with her Duplo, or sat with me while she played the new Duplo games on her phone. When it came time to make lunch, she wouldn't let me go to cook, insisting she wanted me to stay and that Daddy Andrew should cook.

After lunch we went to the park, where Arya had a run about, played on the slide and pretended to hitch her buggy to the springy horse. She has this slightly exasperated way of saying "I'm just pretending" which suggests that she thinks we don't get it. She has a wonderful imagination and can and will pretend just about anything except that she isn't Arya. Even when she roleplays, she's emphatic on this point.

"I'm Arya!"

Come time to go, Arya was finding her second wind and very lively. We loaded Daddy Andrew with food for dinner and they got ready to go. She was fine and dandy, and gave me a last hug, then as they headed off she ran back, clung to me and said "I want to stay with you."

My first mistake was agreeing to come to the station with her. Everything else followed from that. She didn't want to go in the pushchair, so we got to the station with seconds to spare. I felt bad just flinging her on a train, so I went to Ely with them. As my train pulled in, she begged me to either take her with me or come to Ipswich. I hugged her tight, handed her to Andrew, turned and almost ran into the back of the old lady who had stopped to explain to the mum in front of her that the wheel of her buggy board had come off and fallen onto the tracks. It was the decent thing to do, but as I hovered there, Arya howling in abandonment, I desperately wanted to just shove her onto the train.

But hey, my girl is smart. Before we left she'd asked for a couple of sweeties to take on the train. I gave her an old Kinder egg pod to carry them in. While we were waiting on the station, she asked to have the sweets, then looked at the empty pod and said: "I think I have to take this back to Daddy Luke's house."

Sly devil.

I texted once they were underway and Andrew assured me she was better for time and food. I still miss her terribly.

Planet of the Sleepus

So chuffed.

So, we don't know what it is. Maybe it's just that she's not exercising enough, or maybe it's the antibiotics for her ear infection, or the ear infection itself, but Arya is not sleeping well, which means we're not sleeping all that well, and above all that we're all a little off our game.

Hanna brought a sleeping Arya over on Friday night and I put her in bed. Hanna was pretty trollied, so we turned in soonish, and were woken up a bit before seven. Saturday is a busy morning now, so we got up and had breakfast and headed into Ely for ballet. Well, actually it's nursery play dance, but she's at the top end of the age range, so is looking at moving up if she has stick-to-it-ness. So far so good; she's listening to the teacher at least as much as she listens to her parents, and she was made up about her new ballet togs.

We wrestled her back into her street clothes while she stared at the mirror in the changing room - seriously, the kid is fascinated by mirrors. I'm just glad she wanted the curtain drawn so she couldn't see it reflecting the mirror opposite to infinity. What's weird is how insistent she was that the curtain be drawn, given that she's perfectly happy to change in public at Tumble Tots. After last week's show of confidence, she was a little more reticent to go in alone this week, but did it in the end, allowing us to feel both proud and validated.

When we got home there was some trauma, which I may talk about another time, but for now... I'm just going to chalk it up as an important lesson in being aware of what we say to and around Arya, and mindful that she talks very directly, without a lot of the nuance and inference that we as adults may assume just because she's quite erudite.

So Saturday afternoon wasn't easy, but we chilled into Saturday evening, and Arya got off to sleep... okay. Once more there was an early up, with Arya calling me in to check on something slight, then letting me return to bed for ten minutes. I got up at seven and shuffled next door again. She looked up at me and, because the GroClock is slightly slow said 'it's not wake up time yet.'

Pose!

Because it was a miserable day, we took her to Soft Play to get some exercise, which went pretty well apart from the giant, undersupervised kid who was shaking the net as she tried to climb it. I don't blame him; he looked like he was enormous for his size and with some pretty specific developmental needs that his parents were ill-attending by letting him go unsupervised into the under-5s area. He was constantly a misjudged turn from hurting someone, made Arya cry, and probably would have been distraught to realise either, but I wanted to go at his parents a time or two. Despite this, Arya got on with it. She called for my help one and was gone by the time I got there, and spent a good ten minutes playing a throwing game while weaving around the bigger kids in the soft soccer area. Then she went up, reached through the netting and started catching the balls coming out of the pneumo tube before dropping them into the net.

We had a fairly quiet afternoon, because as soon as we got back from soft play Arya crashed. She wasn't the only one. We were flopped out on the sofa watching PAW Patrol while Hanna napped, and I was suddenly aware of Arya trying to put a pillow behind my head and a blanket over my legs. I nearly checked myself into Shady Pines retirement home on the spot. If the blanket had been tartan I'd have lost all will to live.

We got through the day with no accidents, and Arya made a decent stab at her toad in the hole, despite declaring that the fancy gluten free sausages weren't proper like the sausages in Heinz beans and sausages (which are, marvel of marvels, gluten free.) She also talked a lot about mermaids (and merpups) and how Mummy likes the Little Mermaid. I told her that I didn't rate it because it taught bad lessons, but she assured me she wasn't scared of the bad lessons.

Wait; was that last week?

Yeah, so... sleep was not a thing that was happening, despite a very early bed and her extreme exhaustion. Eventually Mummy had to go in and finally settle her, although for all that she was out by about eight and then slept past seven. I left her slightly bemused, eating cereal in her car seat and asking for Help (the Beatles song, that is.)

Going Solo

Mirror, Mirror on the sofa...

Regular readers may recall the adventures we had last term getting Arya to go into Tumble Tots on her own now she's moved up to the big class. I failed to take her at all a couple of weeks ago and then there was Empire, so we had no idea how she would take it this term.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The family came by early to take me to lunch, which was... weird. Not the lunch, but the fact that Hanna and Andy called from the car and suggested I go to the Weatherspoon's for lunch. Okay, I said; I'll see you there. At this point, they vehemently denied that they were anywhere near and that, in fact, they were at home, watching Netflix, which was presumably the source of the apparent engine noise. I said I'd just have a bowl of noodles at my desk then, at which of course they insisted and yet continued to be very clear that they weren't coming to Cambridge. I began to wonder if they were planning my demise and setting up their alibi. Granted, it seemed unlikely, but the whole phone call had become very odd. Especially as I don't eat at Weatherspoon's on my own.

Totally unexpectedly, I met up with the family in Weatherspoon's at lunchtime, then skived off the rest of the afternoon and we went home. It was wet and miserable and no-one had a coat - Arya had a fluffy hooded waistcoat that I figured was made from spare Rattata - so we stayed in, and we weren't entirely surprised when it took a dog's age to get Arya off to sleep in the evening. I worry that she picks up on my constant state of anxious tension and it stops her getting off to sleep. On Friday night it took more than two hours and ninety minutes of child meditation tapes to see her out.

Stickers!

On Saturday it was early up - I was called in, told it wasn't wake up time, but denied permission to either go back to bed or at least lie down next to Arya. Then I went to the toilet, and Hanna answered when Arya called for me. I got back and Hanna was lying down next to Arya; I was requested to go back to the chair - and off, not to Tumble Tots, but to introductory dance lessons in a swishy studio built in one of the wall of the Ely cathedral close. I nipped off to shop, then met up with the others, this time to actually go to Tumble Tots, arriving super early. Arya seemed reluctant to mingle with the other kids, the few who arrived until right before the session, but when it was time to go in she was up and away without any qualms, and that was the last we saw of her until she came out to use the toilet, after which she had a drink from the water fountain and went back in again until the end of the session. We sat outside and sang 'Sunrise, Sunset' in our heads.

Because it hadn't been a busy enough day, we had lunch in the car on the way to Cambridge to see Kubo and the Two Strings at the cinema, using up the last of the comp tickets I accrued thanks to the mistiming of Zootropolis and the excessive volume of The Secret Life of Pets. Some of it was quite scary for Arya, but she toughed it out thanks to the jelly babies of courage. In the one instance where she really wanted to go out, she actually decided she'd rather stay with Mummy.

Then home and dinner - pizza - and then Arya wanted Mummy to lie down with her while she went to sleep. On the upside, she was out by eight o'clock, which is good going at the moment. I'm not sure why she's not sleeping, although the fact that none of her clothes fit all of a sudden and she's hella heavy to carry now might be related.

D'aww.

In the morning I was again called in early and denied the right to lie down. We got up, had some pancakes - drop scones, and Arya ate one this time out - and chilled for much of the day. I'd picked up the BluRay of Zootropolis so we watched that. She was still a little spooked - as predicted, the denouement was pretty harrowing - but got through and enjoyed it.

Arya refused to get dressed in any meaningful sense until she hit on the option of her Tinkerbell dress, which used to be huge on her. Then she did the Pup-Pup Boogie with her wings on, which was just so adorable!

As the afternoon wore on, I asked Arya if she wanted to come to the shop. She did, but somewhere around getting ready it became the park, and so off we went. She wasn't very focused, but had a good time running from place to place, outpacing her poor, exhausted Daddy and playing imaginary games in which she offered me the best cup of tea in the world. A girl after my own heart.

We stopped in at the shops, then home for dinner.

The hood has little ears.

After dinner I gave her a bath and washed her hair, and she was brilliant. Then we got ready for bed and we wrapped her in her dressing gown until it was time to get into the car to go back to Ipswich.

It was a long, long weekend. We did a lot, especially on Saturday, and we were all very, very tired at the start of it, never mind the end. On the other hand, it was a good weekend. Arya comes on in leaps and bounds - the ladies at Tumble Tots commented on how much more grown up she seemed, having not seen her in a couple of months - and seemed very taken with dance. Her sleep continues to be erratic, but I'm hopeful that it will settle and she seems to be responding to the meditation tapes once she settles into listening to them. Not long ago, she wouldn't have paid them any mind at all.

Now, of course, I'm missing her like crazy.

Apologies for the delay in this post. Normally I do these on Monday, but I'm using a temporary phone and had to set it up to back up camera images then wait for it to sync before I could add the pictures.

Shimmy Groovy

Statue!

So, this weekend I had one job.

One job! Idiot.

Hanna brought Arya over. We were supposed to meet in Cambridge, spend an hour and then I'd bring Arya home while Hanna went off for the weekend. Then in the morning, I was to take Arya to Tumble Tots, and we'd have the rest of the weekend to our own devices.

In the end, Hanna was running late, so she dropped Arya off in Littleport. We had dinner and watched some TV (not in that order) and Arya got to bed... not late, but peacefully. I'm kind of busking and looking for a routine that works, but she's very restless at the moment.

In the morning, I completely forgot Tumble Tots, and that it was Empire next week, so we had a really chilled morning, went to the library, hit the shops and all that. After lunch we planned to hit the park, which didn't go quite so smoothly. It was a lovely walk, and Arya was just superb with her road safety, walking on the inside, waiting for a hand to hold before crossing the roads. She had fun playing statues in the parklet, but as we reached the real park, it started to rain in a pretty serious fashion, which put the kibosh on the slide and the swings.

Hahahahaha!

Fortunately, Arya's coat has a hood and I had an umbrella, so we were both able to keep dry. Right.

Arya had a lot of fun with my umbrella, although again, she carried it beautifully. She didn't wave it about or hit passers by, and handed it to me so she could hold my hand over the roads. We went to the big shop for gluten free pizza bases, and by the time we were walking back she was pretty cold and miserable; so much so that I had to give her a carry most of the way.

We got back, dried off, and watched Yellow Submarine. This was a bit of an experiment in so many ways, but once she recognised some of the songs from Beat Bugs she got into it. She didn't care for the Blue Meanies, but then that's kind of the point. She specifically mentioned that she didn't like the Glove because it destroyed everything. And identified the 'tambourine', which was adorable.

Then I put the batteries in the game part of her trampoline. Basically the trampoline has four colour sections, like a Simon Says. There's a peripheral beat box thing with a matching colour wheel that plays a dull, repetitive tune and flashes colours, and the idea is to bounce on the matching colours. She calls it the Pup Pup Boogie after the DDR-type game in PAW Patrol. You can connect with Bluetooth and play your own music, but Arya really jams on the basic repetitive tune. Not that she played much on day one, but on Sunday she really got into it.

Haribo cupcakes

It took a long time to get her down on Saturday night. She basically doesn't want to go to bed, and is very restless once she's in bed.

On Sunday we did some baking - so I now have a dozen cupcakes to eat on my own - and lots of bouncing. It was a chilled day, although we did get dressed to go out and buy chicken for lunch. Arya said yes to chicken and noodles, then insisted that she doesn't like chicken, then told me that she tried some of the chicken and it was yummy!

Un-pre-dictable! Oh yeah!

I gave her a bath, and she was brilliant. Evening meal was fish fingers and chips, which meant we needed ketchup, so it was all dry, hair brushed and out to the shops again.

Bed was even later this time, despite the fact that Arya was immensely taken with my tiger, Ehva. I don't know what's going on with her, but hopefully we can work it out. I've told her she should make sure that she cuddles her toy and doesn't let go, since that should keep her from twitching about and keeping herself awake, but there must be a root cause to the restlessness.

Of course, it could just be that she's three.

Bathtime Breakthrough!

Drawing

Arya arrived on Friday evening with a singular and determined request: "Please I have PAW Patrol?"

PAW Patrol - Watch with Father review coming soon - is no My Little Pony or Sarah & Duck, but does have some problem solving elements and generally good role modelling (the female pup wears pink, but is a pilot.) The key factor this weekend, however, is that Cory at nursery told Arya that PAW Patrol is 'just for boys.' Arya's response was, quite rightly, 'no, it's just for girls too.' Consequently, we felt like we should let her watch some of it at least as a form of solidarity.

On the other hand, we were working on getting her to engage with us more, especially looking and listening when she is talking to us. Other key points to reinforce include not using crocodile tears to try to get what she wants (this is a tough one, because obviously we don't want to tell her either that she shouldn't cry, or that we won't listen if she does, but that there's a difference between real crying and trying to get us to change our minds with an affected keening. It would all be easier if she were sleeping more, but she isn't, and that means it's all too easy for her to slip between the two states.

She's fluctuating between aloof and clingy at the moment, again as a result of tiredness more than anything. I took her to bed and she wriggled out of my arms and snapped 'don't touch me,' then wrapped herself around my arm like a plaster cast when I tried to get up and leave her. I had a chat with her about how it's okay to say 'no Daddy, I don't want a hug,' or 'I don't want to be carried,' but that 'don't touch me!' is hurtful and makes me feel like I've done something terrible, and hopefully that will sink in. It is important to us that she feels she has autonomy, but with a sense of proportion; not least so that we know if something is really wrong.

After a week away, she was clingy as all get out at Tumble Tots, but hopefully will be more confident in herself when she gets back after the summer. By the time we got to the shop it was getting on a bit and she was starting to get seriously tired and hungry and grumpy. The afternoon got progressively grumpier after lunch, and she had an accident on the rug in the living room. This is a clear sign of how tired she's getting, as she has been largely accident free for a while.

Gotta catch 'em all.

On Sunday, we decided to try the cinema, which meant Chiquito's. She seemed delighted to be back, and very into the idea of cinema, but quickly decided that The Secret Life of Pets was too scary. I deciphered this code, I think, because while the film wasn't scary it was very loud, and I think that was what she found overwhelming. It's a shame, and the more so because the staff were so dismissive of the matter. I intend to take this up with the Light Cinema in no uncertain terms. At least it wasn't a waste of money, as we used our comp tickets from Zootropolis.

Stock photo.

After that we went into town for a Lush shop. I also got a whisk and Arya a hula hoop. Then she and I hit the park while Hanna had her eyes tested. There was a brass band, which Arya clapped for attentively, and she did very well considering how many bigger kids were in the park when we arrived.

We headed into Tesco to meet Hanna when the weather started looking broody. It also emerged that Arya had developed a blister from her flipflops, which she was very brave about. Anyway, we went home and there was another accident, so I guess I'm rolling out the steam cleaner this evening. So it goes.

We watched some more PAW Patrol and then it was bathtime, and we had a bit of a breakthrough there. After much, much, much persuasion, she finally agreed to actually look up and close her eyes. I had to find two dry flannels to cover her eyes (one to wet and one to rinse,) but we got her hair washed without any screaming! She even let me brush her hair out afterwards without fussing. That was a dadly triumph which made up for the rest.

We finished up the day with Hanna measuring us all against the door. Arya is still shortest, but definitely growing the fastest. 

Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting (Sleep)

Cereal shoplifter.

This weekend was a bit of a treat, as I got to spend it with both my girls. Hanna wasn't working, so they came over late on Friday and stayed until this morning.

This weekend was a Sarah & Duck weekend, rather than ponies, and we watched a bit on Saturday morning before heading out to Tumble Tots. She's definitely more clingy with me than with Mummy at TT, and I wonder if that's because I leave her every Monday so she worries about me coming back. She settled quick enough once I walked her through the first couple of climbs and I watched from the door as she looked around for me, then figured what the heck and started bouncing on the trampoline.

We went into Cambridge and did shoe shopping, picking up a new pair of shoes and a pair of sandals for Arya. Then we had lunch at Kimmoy, our favourite Chinese restaurant we can't order from since leaving Cambridge. We had the cheap lunch buffet and even that was pretty damn good. Then a cash machine ate Hanna's bank card, which was less good.

After grumping around most of Waitrose, Arya got up and started running around, apparently trying to lose me around the specialty breads. I actually lost track of her for a moment and was scared she'd get lost, but she headed unerringly back to Mummy and all was well. Back at home, Mummy had a nap and Arya refused to let me slip off to get dinner ready, so we ate quite late in the end.

I... have no idea.

She ate some dinner and fussed about going to bed, but eventually got her head down. It feels like what it comes down to these days is waiting her out until she's too tired to force herself to stay awake. After a while she finds a comfy spot and goes out like a light, but she really doesn't want to sleep, probably because of the light.

Still, only another month until the days start getting shorter.

On Sunday we opted for a lazy day with a picnic lunch in the park, but then the Morris Dancers came...

I was getting the picnic ready when I heard the sound of an accordion in the car park, and sure enough there they were when Hanna and Arya went out to look. They were there for the 200th anniversary of the Littleport Riots, and spooked Arya a little with their stick bashing and face paint, which is odd because you'd have thought she'd have been all up for that sort of thing. Perhaps she would if she could have joined in.

She's behind me, isn't she?

Anyway, we went up to Ely Country Park again (Arya remembered going with Daddy and Daddy, and that Mummy hadn't been there) and spent a couple of hours getting lightly broiled while Arya explored a climbing frame. At first she constantly wanted my help, but really got the hang of it before we finished. Then there was ice cream and a last bounce on the trampoline and home. She got briefly worried that we were some way behind Mummy on the path to the car park and someone else was following her, but Mummy didn't accidentally take home a different child and a skinny brunette instead of yours truly, so that was okay.

Dance, Dance Revolution!

Back at home, I tried to get Arya to take a bath. She refused, and actually got quite snappy with me, but then she had an accident and once we'd got her sorted she was all 'Bathtime now!' In fairness, once she was in she was super good, and even made only marginal fuss over having her hair washed. Once I announced that we were done with the rinsing, instead of immediately demanding to come out of the water, she asked: "Can I play now?" and proceeded to spend a fair while playing with her whistling dolphins, two of whom appear to have become brother and sister crime fighters of some kind.

Of course, then she refused to leave the bath, even when I'd let the water out, until she needed the toilet again.

She absolutely inhaled her lasagne, and we headed for bed in decent time, but once more she was restless. In fact, I got kicked quite a bit as she tossed and turned, eventually complaining of a tummy ache - she needed the loo again, but didn't seem seriously ill; she might have been a little overheated from the day, however - and once more did not go to sleep until gone half-eight.

Bang Bang, I Hit the Ground

"Yee-haw"

This weekend was once more sans Mummy, as Hanna was working and being serenaded by one of the country's top chap hop artistes (grown up Arya, there is a video.)

The most notable thing about the weekend was that the weather was gorgeous. After weeks of cold, grey and rain, Spring apparently decided to take a pass and hand straight on to Summer. It was warm, bright and breezy, like the more likable kind of manic pixie dream girl. We did somewhat regret not having Arya's hat with us, but she mostly made up for it by wearing mine.

We got up on Saturday and, after a pretty painless morning headed for the train for Tumble Tots. Arya did not try to leave the platform or complain that she wanted to go home, although she did steal my Ribena and leave me with the Tesco fruit smoothie. So it goes. She was reluctant to leave us to go into the hall, but very quickly got involved enough not to notice us slip out again. She came out looking exhilarated, and we all agreed that it would be lovely to have a picnic in Ely Country Park.

And then the bus was late, and not just a little bit late. Arya got very bored of the wait, and fell over running around on the little stretch of pavement wide enough not to get too close to the road. At that point she decided that she totally wanted to go straight home. Fair enough, I thought, and if she'd stuck by that we could always have had the picnic in Littleport. As it was, after we'd shopped she was back on board.

This photo is taken from the spot that a) has
the best view of both the steps and the slide,
and b) has a deathtrap of a collapsed
mole hole. Fun times.

It was about a ten minute walk to the Country Park, by which point we'd had one ice cream each and the others were already pretty much done for in the heat. We ate, and drank still lemonade with apple and blackberry out of plastic picnic bomb shot glasses (I'd mock Andrew more for picking them up, but seriously, why do they even exist? I can hardly blame him for not checking.) After lunch, Arya had a run around, climbing to the big slide several times (and often not even sliding, but clambering down the artificial hill in a very worrying way.) At last she told me she needed the toilet, but wanted to come back and play more. I said that was fine, as long as we went quickly to Sainsbury's, but then things went a little wonky.

Arya decided she would rather stay at the park, but having told me she needed a poo, I wanted her to at least try. We dawdled to the Sainsbury's where she didn't need the toilet and wanted to ride on a mobility scooter. Since she was obviously getting tired and time was ticking along, we headed home, which elicited some protests, although she was very happy with her fruit shoot lolly, which was the nearest the cafe had to an actual cold drink. Everything was fine then until we got to Littleport station, where Andrew lifted her down and she got upset because she'd wanted me to do it. Unfortunately, Littleport needs a certain amount of alacrity as they tend to close the doors pretty quickly.

Ding!

Arya insisted on following Andrew down the ramp instead of me down the stairs, but then dashed off along the platform. I followed as fast as I dared (as much as I don't want her rushing off across the platform, I want her fleeing from me even faster far less) and she decided to run down the ramp, tripping and falling. She scraped her knee and her hand and dinged her face pretty good as well, poor mite.

We went home and I sat with her watching Sarah & Duck and other CBeebies treats while Andrew got my prescription and sorted the washing up, as she wouldn't let me out of her sight for a while. Reading this back, it sounds like it was a difficult day, but it really wasn't, and where it was, it was mostly so due to the heat and resulting tiredness. Also, despite her refusal to even try to go at Sainsbury's and a last minute panic, Arya made it through the day without accidents.

Arya, Meerkat and flower.

I took her to bed and got her settled, then she asked me to swap out for Daddy Andrew. I was cool with that, and said goodnight. An hour later I checked in and they were both asleep, so I left them to it.

On Sunday I woke up stupid early, just because that's how it was. Once Arya was up I ran her a bath, but Andrew had to bathe her because I was almost literally falling-down tired. Then I took Arya to the park while Andrew cooked lunch. We took Meerkat as Doggy and Teddy weren't around*, and she found some discarded carnations and decided to bring one back for Mummy**.

We chilled for a bit, had lunch, and Arya played with her Duplo, and then it was time to go back to Martlesham. Arya was very affectionate, but went without a fuss, which feels like real progress. She's come on leaps and bounds over the last year and I am so very proud of her.

* Doggy may be missing. I'm worried about Teddy, having to look for him while breaking in a new partner.
** She also insisted we keep an ice cream by for Mummy.

Revenge of the Sleepus

This is the Bugbear. Arya calls it a Bumblebear, which is actually pretty
sharp of her, since it involves recognising its essentially chimerical nature.

Okay, I'm going to be honest with you, this weekend involved not a lot of sleep and a great deal of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

In fairness, Arya arrived asleep on Friday night. Once she was settled in her bed it was about ten o'clock, so like sensible grown up parents Andrew and I watched two and a quarter hours of Star Wars. Look; I'm not saying we didn't deserve to struggle, I'm trying to do full disclosure here.

On Saturday we got up, had breakfast, all going fine, and then headed to Tumble Tots. It was cold and windy, and once she got out of the pushchair at the station, Arya decided that she wanted to walk home. "I don't like the train, I just like the bus."

Arya: Doesn't like trains.

We got the train into Ely and then waited in the cold and wet for the bus to Soham. We discovered that a family Dayrider saves us all of 50p on two individual tickets. As usual, Arya and I sat at the back of the bus and discussed the landscape while she waited for the chance to push the 'Stop' button. Fair play, she is really good about this now and never presses ahead of time.

Then she didn't want to go in until I took her in, but this time she settled fast and I was able to leave her to it and get a cup of tea. Not, I should add, before being grilled about my presence in the class by an eight year old. So it goes.

We came home by way of the shops and had lunch in the Tesco Costa, then spent the afternoon chilling. Hanna called at one point and Arya, not recognising the distinction between a phone call and a video call yet, kept trying to show her things. It was adorable. when we had ice creams she also wanted to get one out for Mummy, despite Mummy not being there. I eventually persuaded her to leave Mummy's in the fridge.

On Sunday, Arya was pretty out of it. We're starting to wonder if she's short on something in her diet; possibly Thiamin as a result of the absence of fortified bread and cereals from her diet. Alternatively it could just be a growing thing. This was the day when most of the My Little Pony got watched.

There was a bit of an upset when her Pinkie Pie (a tiny Kinder surprise toy) went missing. We spent half the day on and off looking for it, then I went to put Arya's socks in the laundry.

More Kinder delights.

"Arya. Did you put Pinkie Pie in your sock?"
"Yes."

She had a reason and everything; she'd just forgotten all of it until that moment.

We had a magnificent bust-up when it came to bath time. She'd already got upset because I wouldn't let her bite me, and the prospect of bath drove her into hysterics. She got herself all worked up and it took an age to calm her down, only to go off again when she realised that Daddy Andrew had used the wrong bath carrot (because of course she hadn't been responding to anyone enough to make a choice.) We finally got her in the bath, where she grabbed everything that could be used to wet her hair and clung on. When I tried to wet her hair by hand she demanded Daddy Andrew and was shocked when he did exactly the same.

After the bath we went straight to dinner, then got her dressed and into bed. That went slowly, and eventually she again asked me to swap out for Daddy Andrew, which was actually nice to see after giving him hassle over the bath.

This morning I sent her off with Mummy and Andrew in the car and got a cuddle and a kiss for my troubles. Bless her.

Going Solo

Arya tries out for an interior design cutie mark.

This was kind of a big weekend for Arya, as it was her first week in the 3+ Tumble Tots class, which she goes into on her own. Hanna was working, so Andrew and I took her up by train and bus and got there an hour early, as usual. She ran around a lot, rearranging chairs and all, until it was time to go in, when she ran in quite blithely, then ran out again when she realised that we really weren't following her in.

Mad 80s hair.

It took some doing, but I eventually convinced he to come in with me and sit by the wall, watching until she felt able to go and join in. She did so after a fairly short time, although she ran back to me several times. By the end of the session she was pretty into it and her confidence had grown massively.

After the session, we headed back to Ely, did a little shopping and got some lunch before grabbing the train home.

Now, on Friday night Arya arrived with Andrew at about 9.30, still wide awake and refusing to go to bed.

"I don't want to go to bed!"
"Why not?"
"I don't like going to bed!"
"Why not?"
"I want to watch Sarah & Duck."

Arya preps her go bag.

We eventually negotiated a settlement where she settled down with Andrew and got the Sarah & Duck story before sleep, but no episodes or sitting in the living room, but after a short time she asked to come through with me. We got to sleep quick enough, but then she woke my up at midnight, and although she went straight off again, I didn't. So, by this point on Saturday I was knackered and I got Arya to tuck me in for a nap while Andrew took her to the park.

I was awakened when they returned and she immediately wanted to go to the park again, which obviously wasn't happening. Since reason wasn't working, we went to the living room and put My Little Pony on just loud enough for her to hear from the kitchen floor, and sure enough she soon came through and curled up on Andrew's lap. I'm still not sure if this was inspired parenting or a dreadful cop-out.

On Sunday we - by which I mean Andrew and Arya - slept in a bit and we had a big breakfast. Arya played in her playhouse for a while, then went to the park with Andrew again; I was feeling ill, so didn't join them. When they got back we played some more, read a bit (The Highway Rat) and watched a little more MLP before it was time for them to leave. I got the loveliest hug before they headed out, and bless her, Arya insisted on walking, which may be the first time she's left my house for Ipswich under her own power. She's such a grown up girl now.

Whose House?

I honestly don't know what happened here,
although if I had to guess I'd say that the
multicoloured mat messed with some
automatic filters. Arya took one look at the
picture and simply assumed "I was green."

This weekend had plenty of frustrations, but also lots of joy. Plus ca change, I hear you say.

Hanna and Arya arrived late on Friday, so I moved the little one straight into bed from the car seat and didn't really see her until Saturday morning. Saturday was a bit of a red letter day, as it was Arya's last day at accompanied Tumble Tots. We've got a couple of weeks out for Easter, then she's moving up to the big kids class, an hour later and without parents. I imagine there might be some teething troubles in week one, but that she'll adapt quickly, and probably be better for the supervisors on their own.

Eeee!

After TT we had to go into Cambridge as Arya has been complaining of pain in her feet. We stopped off at the cinema complex for a Chiquito's breakfast (the long term staff cooed and ahhed over Arya and said wasn't she big now, and we got a bit of a pang that we don't get there so often anymore) before heading for the town centre and the shoe shop. While Hanna found a parking space, I took Arya to get her feet measured, and found that they were... basically the same size. Arya was pumped to get to have her feet measured with the iPad, however, and clearly keen to get some new shoes. I suspect that the ache is due to impending growth, a perfectly reasonable supposition which Arya nonetheless felt was not a good enough reason for her not to have shiny pink trainers.

Best smile!

We went to the bookshop as well, where Arya was fascinated by the Very Hungry Caterpillar jack-in-the-box. She talked me into buying her a card game from the same franchise and then threw in a Gruffalo fox at the last minute, but it was still less than that jack-in-the-box and I felt I owed her something since I was essentially distracting her while Mummy went skivvy shopping and I would have felt bad doing that by just showing her things she couldn't have. Anyway, then we stopped into Waitrose on the way home (still forgot to get Parmesan) and that (Daddy said) was that.

It was a very long day, and when we got home we barely managed to make it to bedtime without all collapsing into tears. Arya and I played her new card game a few times (although it's a little tricky for her as yet) and then some 'Go Go Dragons!' which she's very good at, while Mummy cooked. For all she was tired, we made it all the way through without any accidents, which was pretty awesome, and with Arya being pretty good about toileting in general. After dinner we went to bed and she read to me from one of my old notebooks. I'll be honest, I don't remember the notes for my old Stargate fanfic reading quite so much like The Gruffalo, but there we go.

If she has a conception of gender roles, it will be that Daddy
cooks, while Mummy does light construction.

She fell asleep quite quickly, cuddling Foxy, the notebook, her watch and a bottle of Nandino Strawberry cordial. She did persuade me to let her have a second bottle of milk, and woke at about four with her nappy having leaked. I got her changed and into our bed, where she filled enough of my side of the bed that it was easier just to go next door and sleep on the dry side of Arya's bed, where Hanna very kindly let me doze in until eight thirty. I have to say, I needed that lie in and I greatly appreciate getting it.

Tea.

We had pancakes for breakfast and then Hanna finished off Arya's summer house. Then we had lunch and Hanna went out for a bit to visit game friends. Arya wanted to go after her, but I explained that Mummy had the car and we couldn't take a bus after her, and instead Arya invited me to her house for a tea party. I moved her little kitchen unit into the house and she made biscuits. I provided ginger biscuits from the cookie jar and we sat and munched happily.

We went shopping to get wine for the coq au vin and also happened to pick up a box of mini Magnums; not sure how that happened. Actually, I do; we left an empty ice cream tub on the sofa and Arya got an ice cream craving. Ordinarily I'd just have said no, but I don't like telling her things are for us and not her (barring gluten or alcohol.) It had started to rain a bit so we watched some Sarah & Duck and chilled until Hanna got home. We had a couple of accidents in the afternoon (I've noticed once she has one she seems more likely to have another,) although throughout the morning she was superb at asking for and using the toilet.

While Hanna and Arya had a bath, I made dinner (the aforementioned coq au vin) which actually went down really well. We got to bed pretty late, but Arya said she didn't want a song, just for me to go to sleep. She conked out without finishing her (first and only) bottle of milk and I slipped off to spend some time with Hanna before they headed off for Ipswich.

The Mouse's Birthday

Presents!

This Saturday was Arya's third birthday. I know, right; three years old. We had a lot of plans, some of which alas fell through due to illness, but mostly it was a good weekend.

He summer house arrived on Friday and I moved the pieces into the yard, but we didn't have time to do anything with them as Hanna was making a cake; a modest two-tiered offering this time, but between that and the icing on Saturday morning the kitchen looked like a disaster area and Hanna was pretty ragged by the time people started cancelling for the party due to the rash of flu-like bug sweeping the nation. There was at least one suggestion that birthdays might be cancelled if certain persons, who shall remain nameless but who have become rather good at procrastinating lately, didn't get ready for bed.

Come the morning, she was pretty good about getting ready, although we still managed to be late for Tumble Tots. After next week, she'll be moving up to the later class and we are still going to cut it to the bone every week, I just know it.

Anyway, Arya was... excitable. She woke up tired and we knew we were in for fun. We're not sure why, but she's not sleeping so well at the moment, or rather she's sleeping plenty, but not resting. It's a struggle to get her to sleep, she sleeps through (mostly; she did wake up and want to come through on Saturday) and then wakes up still apparently exhausted. She's jittery in the morning and come afternoon is all over the place.

On the upside, she seemed to have a great time at softplay (barring a few larger kids making trouble on the toddler section, and I had to judiciously withhold from smacking the little snots) and got on really well with friend of parents' friends Tom. I'd invited one of my colleagues and her kids, and they all seemed to have fun too. Arya loved the Sarah & Duck t-shirt they made her and we made tentative future visiting arrangements.

Also, there was a butterfly.

Sunday was the day of building, which got occasionally tense as Arya wanted to play with sharp tools too. I was mostly on wrangling and entertaining duty, plus trying to keep everyone fed. We watched a lot of My Little Pony, but also did some running about. I offered to take her to the park, but she was of the definite opinion that it was too cold, and besides, the emergent house-within-a-house was clearly fascinating to her.

At dinner, the subject of whether it was worth trying to settle her while we watched something or if we ought to just get her into the care arose. Arya immediately offered: "I wanna go in the car now." I'd probably have been quite stung, but while we got her ready to leave, she gave me a big hug and said: "Thank you for my party."

Ersatz Illness

Nap time

I've been ill, which means I've not been in work, which in turn means I haven't done my ED post, since it's something I do at work.

Anyway, Hanna and Andrew brought Arya into town on Friday, before Hanna headed off for a game. Arya turned up in her onsie, so we popped up to the office to change her into some clothes, then Andrew took her into town. She wanted me to go with them; I can tell because as the lift doors closed she howled in rage and betrayal; it fair broke my heart. We caught up later and she didn't seem to hold it against me, and she was clearly tired, since she fell asleep on the way home. Of course, we knew this was going to be trouble later on, but she looked so darned cute and besides, we didn't want to wake her up on the train when there might be no way to get her to the toilet.

Schlurp!

On Saturday we hit out for Tumble Tots, and by most standards it was a pretty successful bus trip. I mean, we didn't miss the bus, which is a start. It was, however, fiercely cold, and Arya was not very happy with that. Part of the recurring problem is that before we get outside she insists that she doesn't want/need her coat/hat/gloves, and then when she does want them we don't necessarily have them. We need to have a prep routine so that we don't forget things like that.

On Saturday afternoon, we made cake; like, all the cake. A triple decker checkerboard cake for Mummy's birthday, in pink, red and purple by special request. since Arya doesn't much care for the mixer, I whipped up two sets of batter in the kitchen, while Andrew and Arya made the third at the living room table. On Sunday we did some decorating of the cakes.

Dat smile!

We also wrapped some of Hanna's presents together. Arya's approach to sticky tape is... odd.

Arya is increasingly into not just looking at her own photos, but participating in them, and insisting on 'reshoots'.

*click*

Intense face

"Can I see?"
Beat
"Again!"
*click*
"Can I see?"

I hope I'm not making her into a diva, but as long as she's happy posing for better shots of her slurping up pasta, I won't worry about her taking herself too seriously.

Toilet training is proceeding apace. Arya is still a little reticent to use the toilet at home, but is very good when we're out. She also sometimes just decides she's going to go all by herself, and does. Sure; sometimes she has accidents still, but I think we're in a progressive stage.

I am sure there's loads I'm missing. It was a lovely weekend, but as of Sunday I've been sick and things are a little woozy in my head.