Full-Time Ersatz

It's really starting to hit home what a full-time job parenting is.

It's summer, it's hot, it's light from Oh-My-Life in the morning to What-the-Heck at night, everyone's tired, and it doesn't stop. Of course it doesn't, I hear you say, but knowing that is't the same as knowing it, which isn't the same as Arya calling pitiously for you at four in the morning.

Right now, Empire has messed up her sleep patterns (10 o'clock last night,) and everyone is tired. Arya is pushing Hanna's buttons and I'm fraying badly at the edges. I had a weekend on my own to recoup some spoons, but in the end it seems to have spoiled me and now I'm twitching about sharing my space again. And then everything went wrong this morning - my fault; I should have made sure she was up instead of having a shower - but I still have to go and get her this evening, and attend her transition evening before we can bus home and I try to get her to sleep nicely at 8ish.

And yet...

We got into school this morning, late, but we got there, and she ran to hug one of her teachers, then back to hug me, and all the stress and the grief was just... nothing.

So yeah; it never ends, but I never wonder why I'm doing it. She's why. She's all the why.

Ch-ch-changes

Well metal.

It's been a while, in part because... Well, it's been a tough couple of weeks. Arya has had some major tantrums, and we've all been tired so we've not dealt with them as well as we could have done. We know that we need to be better, and so we are taking steps, including backing off sometimes and maybe just letting her scream for a while.

On the upside, Hanna is now officially employed as a midwife at the Rosie, which is awesome, and means that this week I need to take Arya to school by foot and train.

On Monday, this actually went well. I got her in by 8.10 on an eight o'clock target.

On Tuesday... Not so much. Arya decided that she wanted an ice lolly, despite it being freezing cold and the morning (because we have ice lollies at Ely station, the last several times we've been there having been late afternoon on hot days.) This meant it took longer than it should have done to talk her down, get her hair brushed and set off... with an ice cream. In the end I told her she could have one lolly this week, and she opted for that morning, and then there were no lollies so she wanted an ice cream and I didn't have time to argue having said she could have something.

Anyway, the upshot is, we were late; and not just for breakfast club, for the start of nursery.

It was a bad day all around though. On the way in, we had this conversation:

Me: Oh; I've forgotten your hairbrush. <beat> And my tea.
Arya: (nuzzles my hand) It's all right; everyone forgets things.
<later>
Me: I've forgotten my phone as well.
Arya: See; I told you everyone forgets things.

I'm not sure I found having also forgotten my phone as reassuring as she felt I ought.

Today, by request, we got her up early to have breakfast before leaving, and she cowered from the day star with her face covered. She didn't do badly, and we only missed the train by a few minutes, which did mean I had time to do her hair at Littleport station and we actually got in earlier than on Tuesday, because what the heck?

Also, Ely is a giant wind funnel for driving people back to the railway station.

Another tick in the positive column, she's been very good about going to bed the last few nights, even if not to sleep.