Ersatz Lite

"Arya; are you a supervillain?"

It was a short weekend with Arya and Hanna this time out. They arrived from Nottingham late on Saturday, and we spent Sunday in Norfolk with my parents.

Arya was super tired after sleeping away from home for a couple of days, and was yawning and overreacting to things from the get-go. It was a bit of a struggle to get her out of the house on time, but we made it, and drove out to t'Mill for the day. She did pretty well with her potatoes and chicken, but left most of her other veg, before settling in to play.

She played hide and seek with Granny, set up the puzzle cars to run into as many bollards as possible and then built a train track with houses at the end of the line for the train to run into, all the while repeating 'chugga-chugga choo-choo' to herself. Apparently she has some sort of dark design to be the overlord of Chugginton or something.

We also played several rounds of 'Go, Go Dragons', and established that there is a point at which a dragon can no longer finish at all, and that it is pretty easily reached. In one game, this hard limit caught two of the dragons. On the other hand, I think everyone got to win at least once, although in the other games my dad got pretty unlucky, and my mum was cheated of a victory when Arya switched my card for Mum's on a whim.

This game is called 'get the ball into the
tree'.

After that, there was some playing with the ball. It's an old green and white ball, frankly filthy, but which has provided hours of delight to many children of the family. We threw it back and forth a bit and then Arya decided to try to throw it into the tree. I wonder in retrospect if she were trying to recreate scenes from In the Night Garden, in which the Ball represents chaos, ruin, entropy and the inevitability of oblivion.

At the eleventh hour, Arya got difficult. As tiredness overwhelmed her, she refused to try to use the toilet, and asked to explain told me: "It just makes everything worse, okay darling?" Where she got this killer argument from, I do not know, but I will be listening out for that phrasing.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Arya fell asleep in the car; about ten minutes into the drive, in fact, although after eating some more chicken and a banana (because when I say unsurprisingly, I mean I brought food in case she dropped off before we got home.)

She slept the sleep of the just, but was still pretty tired this morning, so getting her into the car was exciting. Hopefully a few more good nights will follow, as I'm soloing her this weekend. I imagine we'll either bond like nobody's business or drive each other crazy.

The Call of the Giraffe

"What?"

Hanna and Arya arrived earlyish on Friday, and we decided to have a barbecue, since the weather was so nice. Cue cloud cover, occasional rain, and just enough wind to make lighting the barbecue difficult. Despite these challenges, we managed to make a fair helping of meat, plus barbecued corn on the cob, salad, and roast sweet potatoes (although we had to leave the latter on for ages and they were a little overdone for my taste; or maybe I'm not a huge fan of sweet potato.) Arya ate a little meat, two cobs and a heap of fancy slaw.

And then it was bedtime, and we're trying a new thing, the health visitor having given Hanna the exact same advice my Mum gave me, and on basically the same day, to whit that I need to ease back on staying with Arya until she goes to sleep. So, I put her to bed, gave her a kiss and said 'Goodnight, Arya; Daddy loves you very much,' and I left, but after a couple of minutes I went back in and checked, gave her a cuddle, and then said the same thing and went out again. She was asleep in ten minutes. Get in!

On Saturday morning we went - later than planned - to soft play, and let her run around. She's pretty independent, not the best sharer, but in general doesn't need us climbing about after her, which is a relief at first, and then a bit melancholic. I'm glad that she can manage the big slide on her own, but at the same time, I miss the days when she wanted one of us to go with her.

Let sleeping giraffes lie.

That afternoon, Hanna went off and left Arya with me. We spent a while chilling and then went to the shop for milk. Arya immediately grabbed a 2 pint bottle and headed for the till. I called after her, reminding her we needed more milk than that and suggesting a 4 pint bottle.

"But I only like the little bottles."
"But we need more milk."

So back she shot and picked up three more 2 pint bottles. Yay!

Bedtime was less successful this time. She kept wanting me to stay, and wouldn't lie still. In the end I had to retreat to my room because I was tired and I didn't want to shout at her. When she followed me, I lifted her up next to me and we cuddled for a bit, then I did the whole 'goodnight Arya...' but and moved to the foot of the bed. Then again and stood up. By the time I kissed her goodnight and left the room she was out, and didn't wake up even when I moved her back to her bed and the frame of the pull out section gave way underneath us.

Joy!

There was also bouncing.

I slipped the slats back into place, but it went again in the morning, which I knew was a bad sign, so I spent much of the morning examining and trying to repair the bed, while Arya watched altogether too much PAW Patrol season 2, which is even weirder than season 1. She was frankly knackered - I could tell by the way she started keening each time I said she couldn't immediately watch another PAW Patrol episode - and so was I once I'd wrestled the frame about and realised that the wood was blown, leaving nothing to screw the metal supports onto. As a result, it was a lazy day and we've watched nearly all of season 2.

The problem with lazy days, of course, is that they lead to difficult nights. First, I told Arya she'd have to go to bed in Mummy and Daddy's bed, since hers was broken. Was that all right?

No; she wanted to sleep in her bed. Of course she did. So I had to remove a few slats and collapse it into single bed mode, then install the rail. I also moved a chair next to the bed for stories. Naturally, she wanted to lean on the rail and fidgeted about a lot. She wasn't happy with me leaving, and at one point I was sat next door while she called: "Daddy Luke! Daddy Luke!" and waved her rainbow-coloured giraffe* at the monitor. I eventually went back in, and she looked at me and said without irony: "Giraffey** was calling you." Eventually, and despite my having knackered myself again getting her bed back together, she insisted on coming into my room and it took another half hour to get her off to sleep. Ten past nine, from a half-seven bedtime.

This morning she slept until eight, and we let her; oh yes we did. Her awareness of summer sunlight hours has not been kind. Next week should be more normal, so hopefully we'll have plenty of park trips and whatnot to wear her out a bit.

* A present for being brave during her vaccinations.
** According to her birth certificate*** the giraffe's name is Karma. My assumption was that her surname was Cameleopard, you see.
*** Build-a-Bear, okay.

Bathtime Breakthrough!

Drawing

Arya arrived on Friday evening with a singular and determined request: "Please I have PAW Patrol?"

PAW Patrol - Watch with Father review coming soon - is no My Little Pony or Sarah & Duck, but does have some problem solving elements and generally good role modelling (the female pup wears pink, but is a pilot.) The key factor this weekend, however, is that Cory at nursery told Arya that PAW Patrol is 'just for boys.' Arya's response was, quite rightly, 'no, it's just for girls too.' Consequently, we felt like we should let her watch some of it at least as a form of solidarity.

On the other hand, we were working on getting her to engage with us more, especially looking and listening when she is talking to us. Other key points to reinforce include not using crocodile tears to try to get what she wants (this is a tough one, because obviously we don't want to tell her either that she shouldn't cry, or that we won't listen if she does, but that there's a difference between real crying and trying to get us to change our minds with an affected keening. It would all be easier if she were sleeping more, but she isn't, and that means it's all too easy for her to slip between the two states.

She's fluctuating between aloof and clingy at the moment, again as a result of tiredness more than anything. I took her to bed and she wriggled out of my arms and snapped 'don't touch me,' then wrapped herself around my arm like a plaster cast when I tried to get up and leave her. I had a chat with her about how it's okay to say 'no Daddy, I don't want a hug,' or 'I don't want to be carried,' but that 'don't touch me!' is hurtful and makes me feel like I've done something terrible, and hopefully that will sink in. It is important to us that she feels she has autonomy, but with a sense of proportion; not least so that we know if something is really wrong.

After a week away, she was clingy as all get out at Tumble Tots, but hopefully will be more confident in herself when she gets back after the summer. By the time we got to the shop it was getting on a bit and she was starting to get seriously tired and hungry and grumpy. The afternoon got progressively grumpier after lunch, and she had an accident on the rug in the living room. This is a clear sign of how tired she's getting, as she has been largely accident free for a while.

Gotta catch 'em all.

On Sunday, we decided to try the cinema, which meant Chiquito's. She seemed delighted to be back, and very into the idea of cinema, but quickly decided that The Secret Life of Pets was too scary. I deciphered this code, I think, because while the film wasn't scary it was very loud, and I think that was what she found overwhelming. It's a shame, and the more so because the staff were so dismissive of the matter. I intend to take this up with the Light Cinema in no uncertain terms. At least it wasn't a waste of money, as we used our comp tickets from Zootropolis.

Stock photo.

After that we went into town for a Lush shop. I also got a whisk and Arya a hula hoop. Then she and I hit the park while Hanna had her eyes tested. There was a brass band, which Arya clapped for attentively, and she did very well considering how many bigger kids were in the park when we arrived.

We headed into Tesco to meet Hanna when the weather started looking broody. It also emerged that Arya had developed a blister from her flipflops, which she was very brave about. Anyway, we went home and there was another accident, so I guess I'm rolling out the steam cleaner this evening. So it goes.

We watched some more PAW Patrol and then it was bathtime, and we had a bit of a breakthrough there. After much, much, much persuasion, she finally agreed to actually look up and close her eyes. I had to find two dry flannels to cover her eyes (one to wet and one to rinse,) but we got her hair washed without any screaming! She even let me brush her hair out afterwards without fussing. That was a dadly triumph which made up for the rest.

We finished up the day with Hanna measuring us all against the door. Arya is still shortest, but definitely growing the fastest.