Rollercoaster

She's a lady.

Wow; it's been a rollercoaster.

I've been solo with Arya today. We began well, then Mummy went off to her game and there were a few tears. Then we tried to have a shower and it all went to hell. I struggle with the fact that she doesn't trust me to wash her hair, and in the end we just couldn't get it done. There was a lot of crying and wailing, and Arya was pretty ragged too. So, no shower, but she's agreed to try a bath tomorrow since she was starting to get itchy and I've explained this is because she hasn't been washing. Maybe I'll even get her hair without a fight.

The rest of the day was pretty good. We watched some TV, went to the shop, did some drawing. We also made some nest cakes, but Arya was refusing to do anything but the things she wanted to do, and I raised my voice when she started talking over me while I was trying to speak to her. There were suddenly all the tears, and I'm really starting to worry that I scare her, except that what she wanted to make things better was lots of Daddy cuddles and for both of us to apologise.

Now, part of this is that she's tired. Also - and she confirmed this - that she's worried about starting at a new nursery with a uniform next week. It's a lot of adjustment for her. Anyway, that's why I let her have a simple dinner tonight, so we could be sure of an early night, take lots of time to not have any arguments, watch some Pajanamals and read a couple of stories before putting her to bed. This meant that the evening was pleasantly mellow, and she was asleep by quarter past eight, which may not seem much, but is an hour ahead of the current averages.

The Last Ersatz

Eeee!

The title of this entry is perhaps a little clickbaity. I'm not planning to stop the blog, but this is perhaps the last entry in the old style, as this coming weekend Hanna and Arya will be moving in. It will be a challenge in many ways, and will entail a different style of blogging, although I'll try to post on at least a weekly schedule.

But anyway, to this last weekend:

Everyone arrived Friday, free from vomit (hoorah!) we had a bit of chicken korma for dinner and then started putting Arya to bed, but she had a huge row with Andrew and refused to even talk to him afterwards. Eventually she wanted Mummy to put her to bed, and although she was pretty good about that, come the morning she was still giving Daddy Andrew the stink eye and kicking off at the least excuse. She was actually pretty good up to Sainsbury's, where she became very upset that we wouldn't let her run off without us and I had to talk her up off the floor to come and help me choose a mother's day present for Hanna. In the absence of any DVDs that we didn't already have, she chose a little Belle doll, on the grounds that Mummy loves Beauty and the Beast, and I hid it in my pocket. Later she suggested hiding it in her car seat, but I suggested that was a bit visible.

Riding.

In the afternoon we went out with her bike for a little bit – first time in a while – and then to the shop, and after that to the park. Arya needed to come back to the toilet almost immediately, then we went out again, and he had a mini-meltdown when we told her she couldn't hit cars with her stick. Then we got to the park properly and almost immediately she went into a huff about sharing the roundabout, but she cheered up considerably on the swings, then had great fun on the slide and the climbing frame. When it was time to go home and wake Mummy after her nap, I left Andrew and Arya in the park, and they seem to have continued to have fun.

Andrew and Arya decorated some cupcakes. We had goulash for dinner, which Arya didn't like much, so I made her beans and sausages while she went out with Andrew to get some more frozen sweetcorn. She was then pretty good about getting ready for bed, although she wanted lots of stories and I think she'd got hold of the fact that they were going early in the morning.

The morning began in the usual haze of We Hate George Vernon Hudson Day, proceeding to pancakes because it was also Mother's Day. Arya gave Hanna her present and then asked if she could share it. We had a nice breakfast (Arya had cereal and strawberries, because she's still not convinced by pancakes,) and then got everyone ready to go home. Arya was fussy about her clothes and… well, everything really, because she didn't want to go, but as noted above, this is the last time we'll have to do this of a weekend. Next weekend all we need to worry about is how to fit all of the stuff into the available storage space.

Poor Mite

Bat-Arya!

I feel like I'm saying this a lot, but it's been another tough weekend.

Saturday was actually pretty good. We had ballet and gave out invitations to Arya's birthday party (although we've since had some problems booking a table at the soft play place,) and Arya even let me put her hair into a bun without making a colossal fuss. She wore her Happy Meal Batgirl mask around the supermarket, which was super adorable, and went into Tumble Tots all on her own once again.

We had a quiet afternoon, including a little baking of cupcakes, but despite a pretty good night's sleep after a late night on Friday, Arya got very antsy towards the end of the day and had a fight with Daddy Andrew at bedtime. Andrew does have a habit of picking the wrong fights, especially at bedtime. I persuaded her to say sorry for shouting at him, but she was adamant that he needed to apologise to her as well. I... legitimately don't know how I feel about this. I don't want her to have favourites among us, but she is starting to recognise when she's in the wrong and I'm glad that she sticks up for herself if she thinks that she has been wronged(1).

Anyway, we got her off to sleep, but then she woke up around midnight and wanted to come in with me. Hanna went out to the sofa, and then at about one Arya woke up and threw up. Poor mite; I think it came as a shock to her, since this was her first real grown up vomit, so that's a red letter day. I carried her out and we met Mummy in the kitchen, fetching her some medicine having heard her crying and as she had been a little feverish earlier on. Hanna took Arya and got her cleaned up, while I cleaned the bed as best I could. Andrew got Arya clean pyjamas and some water, and we sat with her a while, watching Pajanimals while her nerve settled. She asked me for milk, but I suggested more water, and I explained that her stomach was still owy from trying to get rid of a bug. I read to her a bit, as she couldn't settle.

Blanket fort.

This was interrupted when Arya thought that she was going to be sick again, so we went into the bathroom. She was very worried about getting vomit in the toilet (fortunately, she didn't throw up again,) and noted apologetically that 'I didn't want to get a bug in my tummy.' Mummy heard us and came through to Arya's room with us, and Arya finally drifted off cuddling Mummy. We slept latish (apart from Mummy, sad to say, who ended up more blitzed than the rest of us,) and had a long, slow morning with lots of pancakes and strawberries(2).

In the afternoon, Arya found a bag of clothes pegs and asked to make a blanket fort. Hanna was sleeping and had a lot of the blankets in with her, but we did our best. I'm not going to say we created a landmark in soft-furnishing architecture, but it worked. I was impressed that Arya didn't want to disturb Mummy to get some toys, although she was then in and out getting clothes to change into. Still, it's progress of a kind.

As much as it's annoying if I'm trying to
read to her, it is adorable.

She was still a bit feverish, and her mood was up and down. We got to about dinner time and she started running up and down the passage. I offered to read her a book and she chose Noggin the Nog and the Flowers(3), but decided she was going to interrupt me over and over again by brushing her hair and saying 'no, no, no... perfect!' I put the book down and she got very upset, then when she wouldn't talk to me I read my own book in the hope that she would talk to me. Instead she went to Mummy, who was making lasagne in the kitchen, and said that I wouldn't talk to her, which... I guess at least she was talking to someone.

After dinner, I struggled a bit getting her ready, because she didn't want to leave. We're just a few weeks from moving in together, at least the three of us, but it's getting more and more traumatic to separate. I should probably treasure the attention before we get to the stage where she's kicking off at me because she wants Daddy Andrew to come home from Ipswich, but it's tough sometimes. It's tough every time.

(1) Rightly or wrongly.
(2) Hurrah for pancakes!
(3) The Saga of Noggin the Nog - and especially Noggin and the Flowers - was a favourite growing up, and I read most of the series to Hanna back when she was pregnant, so technically Arya has heard them before.

Horror of the Sleepus

Adorbs.

Hanna dropped Arya off on Friday night, but had to go home to Ipswich after dinner in order to work a long day on Saturday. Arya took a little while to get settled, as a result, but we got up on Saturday morning and made it to the bus stop fed and on time.

And lacking detangling spray, which was a problem as Arya was distinctly tangled.

So, as we had about half an hour, we went looking for detangler, and found none, at which point Arya refused to go into ballet and demanded to go home. A mix of begged, cajoling and bluster got us in the door, whereon she went back and forth looking for some perfect place to change, before I finally threw her into her ballet gear, pinned up the mare's nest of her hair at the back and sent her in. I worry that people might think I'm a bad dad for not getting her hair in a bun, but I realised this weekend that that's not hers to carry.

From there we went to Tumble Tots, which went just fine, and then home. We planned to get the train from Ely, but got stuck in a huge line of rubberneckers on the bus and missed it, so we had to shop and then wait for half an hour. Arya was, in all fairness, pretty amazing about that. She also knows to keep away from the platform edge, even if she does keep haring of out of sight down the subway tunnel between platforms. Even there, when I explained that I would be scared if I couldn't see her, she started stopping and waiting for me to catch up. We got home and had beans and sausages on toast for lunch, because we'd been out for ages and it was cold and there were wolves after us.

After lunch, we watched some TV and then I made dinner. It really wasn't that long, although I may have fallen asleep a little in the middle. I got Arya into bed and asleep by half eight, despite the fact that she decided she wanted to go home to Daddy Andrew's house. Then she woke up at half past six and got all fidgety, so I had to wake up, and then I needed the toilet. She clung to me and howled, then wanted to come with me, and when I asked her to leave the light off so I would have some chance of getting back to sleep, put the light on. My darling daughter.

Total commitment to making Everest yip.

We got up a little later and I told her she should wake up Mummy, who was sleeping in the sitting room as Arya was in our bed. She went through, found that Mummy wasn't asleep, came back out shouting "Daddy Luke, Mummy's awake!" I asked if she wanted to say good morning to Mummy and she look ed as if this was a great and unprecedented concept, ran back in and climbed up to give Mummy a cuddle.

We had pancakes, did a quick shop and came home, and that was about all she wrote. Arya climbed on the sofa despite being told not to and insisted that she wasn't in trouble, so we had to take away some of her toys. She got her PAW Patrol pups back when she apologised, and in her favour she did then play with them for a while, including showing me that Everest has a speech box in her foot that makes her bark, although she was a little startled that Chase doesn't, as she was sure she saw the lady put one in at Build-a-Bear.

We had a roast dinner that ended up being huge, and Arya positively gobbled up her Yorkshire pudding after checking 'is this gluten free?' Then she had a bath and I washed her hair, which was a bit of a struggle, but nothing like it used to be. She was asleep by ten past eight, although she did wake at three and want to know if it was wakey time and whether she could have some cereal. I said no, it was sleepy time, and got her some milk. She went to sleep after about an hour, although I dreamed that she continued to fuss and fidget for another half hour, then proceeded to fade in and out of sleep, with her apparently awake in my dreams yet asleep when I was awake, and out of reach because I was either experiencing my first ever full-on waking sleep paralysis, or dreaming that I was in between the two extremes.

Because of this wakeful period, we let her lie in until it was time to get in the car and go back to Ispwich. I said goodbye at the station and Arya asked: "Where are your glasses?" The answer was 'on the bedside table,' so go me.

So Tired

On Saturday evening, Arya donned a hat
that she refused to wear when it was made
for her (when she was one) and chows down
on frozen sweetcorn, because that's how she
do.

Okay; what happened this weekend? There was definitely stuff, but I'm fuzzy on the details thanks to crappy sleep patterns. They left this morning, with Arya decisively declaring for wearing a princess dress to nursery.

Hanna and Arya came over on Friday and we ate food. It was spaghetti bolognese, and Arya was very keen to help me with the cooking. I need to find ways that she can do this which require a minimum of access to sharp knives and hot things, because she'll find her own way otherwise and was trying to open the oven while it was on on Sunday. Maybe I just need to nut up and teach her to be careful with the sharp/hot things and deal with cuts and burns as they happen.

It's a moot point until I can get a step stool for the kitchen, anyway.

Arya was pretty good about getting to bed, and in the morning got up nicely enough before kicking up a fuss over her hair. She didn't want Mummy to do her hair at home, possibly because she's tumbled that if she waits until we're at ballet she has more chance to run around until we don't have time to put her hair in the hated ballet bun. Seriously, she seems to love every part of ballet except for the bun, and this week came out with it exploding into a kind of puffball ponytail, like the terrifying xenoflora at the heart of those blossoming tea balls.

We shopped, then went to Tumble Tots, then home for Mummy to nap before her night shift. I took Arya to the library, then we came home for a light lunch and chilled for a while. Dinner was, by special request, pizza, so she was able to help me with that by assembling the pizzas once I'd done the tomato sauce, and then stuff her face with frozen sweetcorn. It's like sweetcorn and ice cream in one!

"Arya, are you playing with your belly
button?"
"No!"

She was pretty good about Mummy heading off to work, and pretty good about getting ready for bed, and then... Oh, and then. She would not settle down; just kept fighting sleep for about eighty minutes. I told her I was leaving, as she seemed to be staying awake because I was there and she had a minor meltdown. I got her settled again, went to put the bottle in the kitchen, and got back to find her asleep. I am worried that I was bang on the money, and I do keep her awake by being there.

I had a restless night, through no fault of hers, and she got me up at about seven for dry cereal and PAW Patrol. (This, plus sleeping in Mummy's and Daddy's bed, is going to be cracked down on, starting this week.) We had a rough moment while trying to get her to wash her hands when I decided I was going to leave the bathroom if she wouldn't respond to me at all; that certainly got a response, but I wish I could reliably get something between complete blank and total meltdown. We vegged for most of the morning, then went out on her bike. We only really have the car park, but it's quiet on a Sunday apart from the utter slobs scoffing their takeaway chicken in their cars and lobbing the box out of the window before leaving. Seriously, it's about ten feet to the bin by the gate, but no; let's scatter bones over the car park where the three year old is riding her bike.

People.

We put the bike away and went to the shop for toilet paper, where the peachy-pink paper was not pink enough for my discerning daughter, who wanted us to go for the quilted. I declined, and she was okay with that, and that's awesome. She also accepted that we wouldn't be getting any more magazines, which was encouraging. Once Mummy got home we had lunch, and then settled in for some baking. Arya and I made cupcakes using the mixer - a huge step forward, as the noise used to scare her off - and she and Hanna decorated them while I nipped out to the shops. Then she caught me coming back in and kicked off because she wanted to go with me, and I ate the last mini egg which she'd been saving for herself. Hanna made oatmeal and raisin cookies that looked like becoming an utter failure and actually worked out beautifully, although Arya rejected them.

"How do you know you don't like them if you haven't tried them?"
"I don't like the raisins. Or the oats."
"Well, granted that would argue against oatmeal and raisin cookies..."

Bedtime was marked by a radical upswing in sass, but she apologised without prompting for bossing me around, so she got a last story (Rosie's Walk) before light out and went off in about twenty minutes.

This morning she stirred briefly at my alarm, put her head next to mine so that she was basically lying sideways across my pillow and immediately started to mew piteously.

"Daddy," she said.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Pull my Sarah and Duck blanket over me."

So I did, and she was out again; still lying sideways across my pillow.

Her Two Dads

Makes me so happy.

This was another weekend without Mummy, thanks to the demands of work and study. Andrew brought a sleeping Arya to the house at about quarter to ten and I moved her into the bed, where she cuddled up to me after I turned in. Hanna and I have been musing that it may be most productive to let her sleep in with one of us for now, just to make sure she gets plenty of sleep.

In the morning she slept late, so we popped her in the pushchair and took her off to ballet. She woke up on the bus and sat on my lap being super chatty, but got all shy once we got to the studio. She told me that she didn't want to do ballet because she didn't want people to see her in her deer onsie, so we persuaded her to get changed before anyone saw it. She wasn't wild about the wanted me to come in with her, but left me at the door and seemed to settle in quickly enough. She certainly told us that she had a good time, and was happy enough to tuck up in the pushchair so that we could get the bus to Soham in good time (although we had to buy another ticket because I'd managed to lose the original one.)

Once we reached the school, Arya became fascinated that the door into the main classroom area was, for once, open instead of locked. Eventually we got her changed, however, and I took her across to the new M&S food shop over the way for snacks. She munched on carrots and humus and rice cakes, then went in to Tumble Tots on her own, and even agreed to try to use the toilet before we set off again. There was no teacup ride today, but we did a little shopping and had lunch in Ely while we waited for the bus back to Littleport. As usual, it was a very long 'morning' (lasting to about three o'clock,) and Arya was pretty beat by the time we got home, so we did puzzles and played board games, then watched a little TV until dinner time.

Play that funky music.

Dinner got a little fraught, as Arya insisted on eating with her fingers when we asked her to use a fork. It wasn't so much the fingers per se as the fact that she repeatedly and unapologetically refused even to listen to what we were saying. She kicked off because we woudln't allow her pudding, then when it was time to get ready for bed she shouted at Andrew and punched him. Now, she really only did this because she was extremely tired, so we tried to calm her down and get her into bed, and eventually she did say sorry, and settle, and didn't make a fuss about not having time for stories.

I wanted to make a fuss about the stories. I like the stories.

Sunday was a self-consciously quiet day. We chilled, watched some My Little Pony and even some PAW Patrol, and then gave Arya a bath. She was brilliant, letting me lean her back to wet and rinse her hair, washing herself and getting out in good time to get her dry and go out on her bike. After that we went to the shop and she talked us into buying her a My Little Pony magazine. Normally I have a firm line on this sort of thing, but she really got a lot of mileage out of the Halloween issue of same. It did bring home that I really need to work on my MLP voices.

We had pizza for dinner and she did well enough that we had no problems with going on to ice cream, and got ready to travel in plenty of time for an episode of Pajanimals. Not enough for two episodes, which upset her a little, but she quickly calmed down and curled up in the pushchair, intent on an early night falling asleep on the train, because - and recognising this was such a step forward - she was tired. We cuddled loads before she set off, calling out a cheery 'goodbye' as she went instead of wailing to be leaving, so that was amazing as well.

As much as she can be sassy and as wandering as her attention is, I'm really proud of the way that she's grown up, and of the little girl that my baby has turned into.

The Wild-Haired Dancer

Flump.

It's been a tough weekend this one. We had all three parents around, but Arya was determined that she wanted to sleep in with Mummy and Daddy Luke. This meant that, twice, I was woken up at four-thirty in the morning by Andrew bringing Arya through from her room. If she'd gone straight back to sleep, this would have been fine, but the truth is that there isn't the space in the bed anymore. She tries, bless her, but what usually happens is that I get forced to the edge of the bed, then she squiggles anyway and wakes Hanna, and then we're all getting pushed back and forth and no-one is getting sleep. We've reached a stage where Arya actually knows that she's tired, but I haven't yet convinced her that not trying to fit in with us is the answer.

Anyway, we dragged our carcasses out of bed on Saturday and, true to predictions, despite the fact that Hanna was here to drive we still ended up rushing to ballet. Andrew and I dashed in with her and got her changed, but feeling more pressure than there was, I sent her in with her hair loose, having shaken loosen from the bun I'd tied it in earlier (which was a thing of beauty, I tell you.) We had a nice chat with the other parents, commiserating with the mum from Virginia over her newly inaugurated President, until Arya came out, looking as if she'd had a great time. Obviously, this was a great advance on last week, so we paid for the half-term.

Easy rider.

After ballet Arya got a ride on the teacups, then we went shopping. We went to Sainsbury's particularly to get some more chocolate cereal for Arya, but they were out. Instead we picked up not-specifically-gluten-free Moana branded cereal, because Arya does love her some Disney(1). Then we headed to Tumble Tots, where she went in without a fuss but refused the yellow t-shirt; she said it was because it wasn't pink, and we think she may be reacting to being told she has to wear dark blue for school.

After that... Well, I'm going to be honest here. After that, we went home and crashed hard. We did take Arya out on her bike for a bit, and Hanna and Arya made some cookies before Hanna went out for the evening, but mostly we watched My Little Pony and mellowed out. It wasn't the best of times, but it was very nice having her snuggle up next to me on the sofa. Too much TV watching is bad, but I do wonder if we undervalue a little bit of quiet time.

On Sunday I was good for almost nothing, and probably a little better off than Hanna. Andrew was a trouper and put together a grand lunch, while Arya and I crashed on the sofa and Hanna passed out again in bed. We watched TV, ate chicken and then they went off home by way of the supermarket. Arya opted to go with them instead of waiting for me while they shopped, but I consider this a plus. I can't deny that it's flattering when she wants to stay with me, but I'd rather she was happy with any of us. Anyway, they're back this evening (Monday) for Arya's school taster day tomorrow, so expect another midweek Ersatz.

(1) Sadly, this seems to include The Little Mermaid, complete with its not-so-scary bad lessons.

The Midweek Ersatz

"I'm no Heifetz, but I get by."

As a bonus this week, I had a visit from Hanna and Arya to attend a school tour. They arrived on Monday night in time for dinner (chicken risotto) and although we finished late, Arya was out in record time and asleep by 8:30. I rule!

And then she woke up less than forty-five minutes later complaining of pain in her legs. Mummy cuddled her while we gave her some Calpol and then I lay with her while she went back to sleep. Hanna is concerned that Arya may have hypermobile joints and sometimes wake in pain because of that. She's certainly a very flexible girl, although I usually put that down to being three. Anyway, Hanna stayed in with Arya, so I slept on the sofa-bed in the living room.

On Tuesday we were up and at it bright and early. Well, I was, beginning with my discovery at four-thirty that we were far enough from the solstice that if I leave the sitting room windows open the light wakes me up at around, oh, four-thirty. I managed to get back to sleep for the ninety minutes until my alarm went off, then gave Hanna another ninety minutes, which left Not Enough Time(TM) to comfortably get Arya ready for the day; especially when she decided that she wanted to wear her pink tutu with her posh dress(1). In the end she went for the other posh dress, because it's a more generous fit, and accepted that the tutu might not work.

We arrived somewhat late thanks to a tricky bit of satnaving (the school has four sites(2) and gives one postcode.) Once there, Arya clung to our legs for a minute and then went haring off to explore on her own. She was up and down stairs, in and out of rooms and even sat down with the maths booster class. We had tea and they found her some gluten free biscuits, then she ran off to explore and found the library, where she got some books to read with us and then sat at the piano and showed a marvelous awareness of how the instrument is played, if not actually of how to play it. When the head of the nursery was free, she took us to look at that, as Arya may well be starting there soon. We booked a taster morning for her next week and then went to meet my parents for lunch.

This park is even colder than it looks.

We stopped briefly at the park, where it was very, very cold, then went to the Cutter Inn for a very good, very large and very filling lunch. Arya was off around the restaurant quite a bit, including running after Granny and Grandad to give them a goodbye hug, so we figured we'd shop and then head home. At the shop, Arya got into the toy section and found the PAW Patrol goodies, and I had to be tough with her and explain that we can't just buy everything, however much she wants it, but we could add it to the list to consider for birthday. Then we lost Hanna for a bit (she was in the toilet, but my phone didn't have enough signal to pick up her explanatory text,) and Arya got out of my sight around the clothes section and I panicked a little, but all was well that ended well. We shopped and headed home, where I watched Sarah & Duck and My Little Pony with Arya, while Hanna napped and then cooked.

We had beans and sausages on toast, because cooking anything more serious was just not happening.

It would have been nice to settle Arya and have a crack at finishing at least one episode of The 100, but Hanna was pretty wiped, so they headed off early. It was good to see them midweek, although exhausting, and it makes me ponder the future of this blog. Once Hanna and Arya are living with me, I suspect it will shift to moe or less daily posts, but each one significantly shorter than my current standard.

(1) We wanted to make a good impression. I was wearing my best shirt with combats and a cable-knit jumper, so didn't feel too able to criticise.
(2) We managed to avoid the playing fields, I think, but took in the rest.

The Fourth Noel

Christmassy Arya.

'Tis the season where I write up about a fortnight of Christmas ersatzery. I have notes and everything!

We began on the evening of the 22nd December, with the family arriving for a curry dinner and a major reworking of the living room. We moved the sofa back, tucked the table away and it made a big difference to the available space. Arya took forever to settle because she was excited. Like... really excited. With Mummy and both Daddies, and Christmas ahead, she was bouncing off the walls, but at last she did go to sleep, and so did we.

Mugging for the camera.

The 23rd was day one of Christmas prep. We hit Chiquito's for brunch and spent much of the day shopping. Arya was still excited, but kept it together apart from some distraction as she got more tired. By the time we got home she was bouncing off the walls, but after making a big fuss about her bath, she actually apologised for making a big fuss about her fussing. It was around this point that we realised that we had a lot of presents. We really tried not to, but we did, and not just from other people. As a result, we decided that we would expand Christmas Eve, so that Arya didn't just bury the early presents in wrapping paper. Dinner was a pizza floor party (but not, as Hanna suggested, floor pizza.) Arya was a bit down on Andrew most of the day, so it was nice to see her wanting to stick with him when he went to look for his bank card in the evening. She wanted to go to bed with Mummy.

On Christmas Eve we began in earnest, beginning with a few presents, of which the most popular was by a long way the Sarah & Duck bed linen set (or 'Sarah & Duck bed in Arya-speak.) We were prepping like we were expecting the apocalypse, not least because of Hanna's sudden craving for poultry after we'd ordered the lamb meant we had three meats to organise. According to the spreadsheet, which we totally had, Christmas Eve was for ham and chicken; lamb would be cooked 'live' on the day. There was also a duck to be cooked for the evening. In amongst all the cooking we played balloon catch and didn't really have a lunch, which was a mistake. Thus we ate heroic quantities of Jamie Oliver-inspired Christmas duck with the mother of all gravies. Arya actually made a grand fist of it, which is pretty impressive for such a rich meat.

Before bed, we cracked out the Christmas Eve bag and she drank hot chocolate with marshmallows from her new giraffe mug, which was the best thing ever. Then we looked at Google's Santa tracker(1) and watched The Snowman. Arya was pretty good with bed, although she kind of wanted to stay up for Santa (even though nursery had explained that he knows when you're sleeping.) We had stories - the last of the Advent books - and then she wanted Daddy Andrew to tag in.

What is it!?

And then at half-past midnight she was awake in tears and only Mummy would do, so I was in the living room in the morning when she came through (at 7.30) to see if Santa had been. Now, since Mummy and Daddy Andrew had put in a splendid hour's work putting together and wrapping her new Princess bike (from Santa) this was quite a moment for her. The actual opening was delayed until after breakfast, when she chained through her pile of gifts.

After that, we went out with the bike, and she showed growing confidence despite the circling helicopter parents. In the end we only came back because she needed the toilet, and Daddy Andrew took her into the church to use theirs on the way home. The priest came out after them, as service was ending, to make sure we hadn't missed the service by mistake and were aware of their schedule and 'messy church' times. He was very lovely, so we didn't drop the poly-agnostic-wiccan thing on him.

We spent the rest of the day in, including our first round of Lego Dimensions couch co-op. Arya showed her first delight in flying Voldemort(2) around, and a sharp awareness of the compulsive nature of the villainous character:

"Now he'll come and kill Batman."
"What! Why?" (I was playing Batman at the time.)
"It's what he does!"

Dinner was a great success, against all odds. Hanna eleventh-houred the pigs in blankets - which Arya then mainlined - and stuffing and it was glorious. After a big day, Arya opted for an early night, and then drove us all crazy not sleeping. It's not just that she doesn't, but that she doesn't sleep kind of on purpose. Basically, every time she's about to go she rubs at her eyes or kicks her legs or turns over or something to wake herself up. Getting her to sleep is basically a matter of persuading her to lie still and close her eyes for five minutes, but that is quite a struggle.

Specs.

On then to Boxing Day, when we went to visit Granny and Grandpa Slater. We began the day with a little more Lego and then a bath, although she rankled at Daddy Andrew's cold hands and we had to have words about talking to her parents if there's a problem instead of just screaming for another one. Anyway, we headed out to the Mill, where Daddy Andrew ate all the corn chips (she claims, although she made her own contribution well enough.) Dinner had crackers and funny faces, which went down a storm, and chocolate cake to follow.

In the afternoon we broke out the Marvel Storytelling Adventures and created a story. Arya mostly wanted to use the Hulk card and the emotion die, but at least understood that the Hulk can be angry because he's sad or sad because he's angry. After that we broke out the box of fun, which now contains the puzzle cars, wooden trains, a couple of model cars and a bunch of Lego. She spent ages pushing the cars around and explaining to me that the man in the racing car was sad until he got a lift in the red car, possibly because he didn't have a roof.

Towards the end of the day we changed her into her new deer onsie, and was delighted when Granny appeared to be quite taken in by her disguise. We loaded her up and drove home, and while she didn't really sleep in the car she went down quickly after we got her into bed.

The gang's all here.

On the 27th we - she and I - were up ahead of everyone else. We had breakfast and played half an hour of Lego(3), and as it had been hard to fit things in the day before we sat to work out the day's plan. I drew pictures of the bath and her bike and we agreed that she would do both of these in the morning and that she would like to go to the park in the afternoon if she got both of those done. She was much more reluctant on the bike, with none of the day one confidence. To try to work this out, when we finished we paused for a few minutes to show her how the pedals and the wheel work, so that she would understand what she was doing. The bath was also a bit of a struggle, at least until she was in. I suggested we listen to some music(4) while she bathed, which did the trick, and she enjoyed the fizzing of her Lush bath bear.

After lunch, we kept our side of the deal and Daddy and Daddy took her to park. It was getting dark, so it was a short stay, but she had fun and afterwards went to the tailors' with Andrew to get his coat mended. She settled in to watching PAW Patrol on her new tablet at home, and we lured her out of that to play some more Lego before dinner. Bed was another struggle; she was clingy and sleep-avoidant in the extreme. This was something of a pattern at this point.

But where is her water?

Anyway, on to the 28th, and Auntie Sam's arrival to whisk Andrew away for a day and a bit of work before the New Year. We watched all the Gruffalo films (including Stick Man, at last!) and then went out on the bike again. She was a little better, and very keen to see how it worked. She wasn't keen on the lunch venison, but ate lots of potatoes and then cleaned up on the blueberries, despite the being a little tart.

She was gutted when Andrew left, clinging to him and howling until mollified with ice cream, and even then ruing the exchange afterwards. She was more subdued after that, watching things quietly and playing Where's My Water?(5) on her tablet. All in all it was a quiet afternoon, except when she shouted greetings down the phone to my sister, and the evening was surprisingly easy. Arya was very tired and unusually willing to settle, especially if it meant keeping me close. I find it hard to fault her for wanting her family close, but it can make bedtimes hard.

It's also a bookcase, so that's about the best
thing ever.

Mummy promised Arya could sleep in with her if she went to sleep well, so we moved her through and in the morning she was disgruntled by the absence of her Sarah & Duck duvet. We had a long, easy morning of shopping in Ely and began to ease into a less festive mode of living. Perhaps the most impressive moment came when we encountered a pair of Pyrenees Mountain Dogs outside the Cycle Store (also toy shop and haberdasher) and Arya approached - after being told they were friendly - to pet them, without any obvious nerves and observing good petting etiquette. Taking to her bike with Mummy, Arya turned it around completely, chasing us around and laughing with glee as she did it. I wonder if she plays the baby a little more for her Daddies.

We had a good bath and a quiet dinner on the floor, and a decent bedtime. It took a while, but she was out by eight which I think was the earliest all holiday.

In the morning I was called in just past seven to retrieve Dolly from the floor. Arya tried to go back to sleep, and when she seemed upset she couldn't, I pointed out it was wakey time. She was super keen to go out on her bike. We suggested she wait and show Daddy Andrew how good she was getting once he got home, but she insisted on an early practice. We had a snack picnic for lunch and watched Pete's Dragon (the new one) several times over. We had some trouble when the gingerbread men came out and she decided that she needed to win things(6), but she apologised and told Mummy she wanted them both to win after all.

Cut-out princesses and Lego spaceships.

She was thrilled to see Daddy Andrew back and to show off her cycling. Then she told me Daddy Andrew had told her to get popcorn - he hadn't - and when I asked why she'd lied admitted 'Because I wanted it.' I guess that's honest at least.

Later, we broke out the Princess and Marvel Storytelling games and played them together, crafting a tale in which Gaston duped Flynn Rider and Captain America into trying to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand, ostensibly to restore Rapunzel's hair, while a Chitauri jacked Cap's ride and tried to nick the wand for himself. Cap ended up in a dance fight with Prince Philip, while Arya drove the story with her commitment to the emotion die.

Perhaps having a full house again got her excited, because she gave us quiet hell at bedtime, fighting sleep hard but without much fuss.

On the 31st we had bike practice with all three parents and she was loving it. She asked us to move through from the garages to the largely empty car park, where she rocked up and down the gentle slope many, many times. By this point she was showing a real joy in the activity that was wonderful to watch. After that she was keen to go to the library, and just so disappointed when it turned out to be closed (the website had said otherwise,) because that meant that she couldn't take her books back and get new ones. It was lovely, although she has now lost all trust in my ability to know when the library is open or not. To make it up to her, we went to the shop and bought apples and consolatory jelly babies.

When we got back, we rolled out pastry to make a load of mini pizza bases (like, 28 of them.) They were smaller than planned, because Arya insisted on using the pink pastry cutter instead of the orange. Then we broke out the storytelling adventures and discussed how the not-emotion dice could work, and the big stumbling block that you could tell a story about Cinderella being angry, despite the picture being happy. And then I fell asleep in my chair, which was a bit embarrassing.

Then we had a bath and a hairwash, and Mummy let her use her Christmas wand from Lush, so the water was gold and sparkly. She was really good about it, and after dinner she was very good at getting to bed and to sleep, although we were a little later than on the 29th.

I know it's probably poor parenting, but it's
just so adorable.

Now... we didn't get to bed by 9 on New Year's Eve, of course, so when Daddy Andrew brought Arya in to us at 6.30 I kind of wanted to kill him. Arya was wriggly and Hanna was shattered, so I took Arya to her room and we played with her off-brand ponies(7) for a while. I'm terrible at plaiting pony manes, but so it goes. We went into the living room for breakfast, then played some more and... Okay, hands up; I made a mistake. When she asked to play Lego I admit I jumped at doing something that was somewhat interactive but required little focus on my part and we played way too much of it as the start of a very lazy day. Arya went out on her bike with Andrew, and we watched PAW Patrol, a lot of Beat Bugs and The Last Dragonslayer. The latter was a little scary, but she made it through with cuddles.

She got a little upset when the TV went off, but was soon happy to come and sit with me and read Horton Hears a Who. She got that and Oh, The Places You'll Go! for Christmas and has been very taken with Dr Seuss. She ate well, but after dinner she was giggly and silly, stropping and messing around, and wouldn't go to sleep without a hand off.

Putting the tree away.

And so to the second, and the last day of our Christmas. Arya came in at 7.30, a more civilised hour, and I got her breakfast; toast and reheated sausages from the night before as we were out of her chocolate cereal. We had a quiet morning watching CBeebies, and then the PS4 was uninstalled and switched back with the BluRay player. At once the last DVD in started playing, so we watched The Snowman again, and then The Snowman and the Snowdog, which was a nice cap on the season. Then we took down the decorations and the tree and rearranged the living room before the family headed back to Ipswich. Hanna and Arya are back today (I write this on the 3rd) for my birthday tomorrow, but the house is so weirdly quiet.

(1) I thought that the numbers were off, and by a bit of triangulation discovered that we were in fact in the Gulf of Guinea, which was a hell of a thing to spring on us.
(2) Voldemort - or 'flying man' - is now on the list of things that she loves, along with her parents, PAW Patrol, carrots and the colour pink.
(3) Pre-setting the limit was a brainwave I failed to use any other time, which meant we somewhat overdid the Lego Dimensions in later days. I blame the exhaustion.
(4) The Moana soundtrack.
(5) A puzzle game in which you have to route water to feed a sewer-dwelling alligator's bath, without destroying the rubber ducks with bleach or acid. Arya is actually really good at it; she's also getting good at memory games and pinch-zooming.
(6) Speed of gingerbread man eating, I think.
(7) I think of them as First Person Possessive Micro-Equines.

Adventures with Viruses

Too much cute... Rebooting cynicism...
Cynicism load failed.

Well, this has been an exciting week.

Almost exactly a week ago, we set off from my place for Leeds, to visit Hanna's grandparents for a sort of early Christmas(1). It's about a three hour drive, and although Arya went to sleep she then woke up as we took her in and we had a very, very late night in the end. This was a pattern followed for much of the weekend, as Arya was super, super psyched to have all three parents, a set of grandparents, Uncle Crazy and three dogs. She is much, much more comfortable with the dogs now she's a little bigger (although still much smaller than a staffie) and spent loads of time patting and cuddling them. Perhaps even more impressive, she's got 'how to pet dogs' down pat; none of your usual small child pooch spine battering here.

One of the reasons she went to sleep so late was that she realised that we weren't putting her down in her inflatable Peppa Pig bed, for the arguably insufficient reason that she's much too big for it now. She was adamant that the Peppa Pig bed is for camping and for Granny Spot's(2) house. In fairness, she had been looking forward to it; she told me so before we left. Anyway, to avert this issue in future, we lined up a set of options for her to look at on the Argos website and she was very taken with the Disney Princess bed. As Hanna was shattered from a) driving up the night before and b) driving out and around in the morning to find a suitable walk in centre because Arya was roasting(3), her brother David (the aforementioned Uncle Crazy) drove me out to pick up the bed. I also got a thermometer (now we have one in each house!) vitamins and a toothbrush for Arya. The last of these was a little battery-powered number like Daddy's power toothbrush and very, very exciting(4).

The new bed.

The theme of the day was very much 'collapsed on a sofa', which unfortunately meant that Arya did end up a little wired at bedtime. Or was that on Thursday?

Okay, so... I know pretty much all of the stuff that happened, but I'm going to be honest; I'm not sure what happened when necessarily. That's how tired I got.

Right, so I think she went down okay on Wednesday night. Late, but ultimately she just conked out on the new bed and I went down to spend a few minutes with family before giving up and turning in myself. It was my turn to sleep on the floor mattress, so I woke up to find Arya shaking my shoulder and telling me that she needed to go to the toilet.

Thrusday was actual un-Christmas, with turkey and presents around the tree. Arya had to be restrained from opening everything (but only really hers, so that's progress,) and we just opened one each otherwise. Then Hanna and Granny took Arya out for a girls' day. Arya, bless her, had no interest in a 'girls' day', but was delighted to spend time with Mummy and Granny Spot. I promptly fell asleep and woke up to find Arya knee deep in Mummy's old My Little Pony toys and accompanied by a brand new Chase, because Granny had gone a little mad on indulging her.

Mummy's old Ponies and Arya's new Chase.

And yes, it was on Thursday that she decided sleep was for tortoises, and instead bounced and wriggled and played with Granny's torch that we were using as an impromptu night light. It ended up requiring multiple parents to get her to sleep, and I was basically not fit for human company by the end of it.

On Friday we went to meet one of Hanna's old friends and former bridesmaids at Starbucks, and once we'd established which Starbucks we sat and had a pleasant natter broken by a nearly-very-nasty Brexit row. Andrew and I took Arya to IKEA while Hanna said her goodbyes and we went around the shop with Arya merrily pushing a tiny, child-sized trolley. We bought some bits and pieces, but really we were looking for a spare backboard and metal rack for the broken daybed. Amazingly, we - and by we I mean Andrew - found one. I took Arya to find somewhere for lunch while Andrew and Hanna packed the boards in the car and that, dear reader, is where the trouble really started.

You see, the Clio is a smallish car, and a bed is a longish thing. we had to call Grandpa Scott to pick up Andy and me and drive us home via a car place to pick up some straps. Hanna managed to arrange things so that we didn't have to carry the boards in the rain, but this did mean we were sort of crammed in, with the car seat on the wrong side and boards on our shoulders for the three hour drive home.  Still this did mean that we were truly glad to be back home. Even if I didn't have any milk for my tea.

Man, when they told her she had to leave it
behind...

And that was that, except that that was Friday and we still had a weekend ahead.

On Saturday I took Arya to ballet on the bus so that Hanna and Andrew could lie in, and then I just... stopped, because I had basically been awake since Arya kicked off at about 4.30. For that, and the fact that I had to take Arya out in her PJs and she didn't want any of the things I could find her for breakfast (she wanted a venison burger from the farmer's market, but in the absence of a GF bun, we had to take a rain check on that one,) it went pretty well.

She decided that she wanted to sit on the front seat of the bus, and then that she wanted to get changed in the front foyer of the dance studio but not when anyone was in there to see. Finally I got her changed at the bottom of the stairs, and we borrowed a hairbrush from one of the other mums to get her tangles sorted out. She went in eagerly, leaving me to chat with the mums. I think we're both doing pretty well with our respective social anxieties, and she came out entirely happy.

After persuading her to let me change her into street clothes, we headed out into the market and she rode the teacups. I don't know if she was doing it for everyone or just recognised repeat customers, but she got a present from the lady who runs the ride; a little Usborne early reader, which was lovely.

My brave traveller.

We met up with Mummy and Daddy Andrew and got her fed and to Tumble Tots (just), then home to basically pass out on the sofa with Arya occasionally shaking me to remind me it was still wakey time. I don't recall much of the afternoon - mostly I remember that at one point she got upset and told me that she didn't like Daddy Andrew, but later admitted that actually she didn't like something Daddy Andrew had done(5) - but in the evening we had fish and wedges (which went down very well) and she went to sleep with little trouble at all, although I also conked out for half an hour.

On Sunday we had cream cheese and egg pancakes for brunch, then went to the cinema. Moana proved fairly scary as these things go, but she stuck it out and, even when most complaining that she wanted to go home was glued to the screen. At home we had bolognese and then it was time for them all to head off. I was and am still pretty knackered (and coldy,) and as it's about quarter past ten, I'm going to sleep now.

Soupey twist.

(1) I dubbed it un-Christmas, but managed not to sing 'A Very Merry Unbirthday to Jesus', which might have been tacky.
(2) Her delightful rendition of 'Granny Scott'.
(3) In addition to a slight cold we brought with us, we were informed first thing in the morning that 'we've all got this virus.'
(4) We're working on the way to use it properly.
(5) Asked her to listen and told her he would take away Everest, which I did later suggest might be a bit much, since it wasn't directly consequential.

Dubstep Giraffes and Other Strangeness

"Is that beard real?"(1)

This weekend, there were giraffes, both regular and dubstep.

We began as normal with Hanna and Andrew arriving with Arya, having texted me their ETA and the message not getting to me because my flat is a mobile reception blackspot. Thus, I did not have dinner ready and had to race to do that, then get Arya into bed and to sleep, which took quite some time and an emergency mummy cuddle to achieve.

On Saturday morning, at about 2.30, Arya woke up and wanted Mummy. I ended up on the sofa, Hanna barely slept, and we all slept in in the morning and were in a terrible rush to get up and out and about. Ballet first, then Tumble Tots, after which we changed Arya into her princess dress (and man, that Anna dress has done sterling service since Hanna got it for her. Like... at least a year and it still fits nicely. Anna dress, we salute you) and headed for Colchester Zoo, more or less via Ipswich. We were all so tired that we almost called it, but we'd bought tickets and Arya had told all her friends she'd be going.

It was exhausting. It was occasionally frustrating. But I'm glad we did it.

As zoo visits go, it might not tick all the usual boxes. We didn't see a lot of animals, and many of them only in passing, but on this occasion that wasn't the point. Our first stop was to the giraffes, for Arya to feed them. This was almost a total bust, as of the two giraffes that came into the feeding pen, one was shy and the other didn't want to eat without his friend, but they got their nerve up and took the leaves, and Arya was very happy with that.

My photo game was not strong; I blame cold fingers.

After that, we fed ourselves and Arya ran around one of the playgrounds, then we wandered back to the far end of the zoo to visit Santa. We went past a reindeer stable en route, which Arya was quite taken with, and she loved Santa's grotto, running back and forth, looking at the vignettes and very politely asking Mrs Claus for another marshmallow (that being the only gluten free option.) The virtual sleigh ride just seemed to baffle her, however, and by the time we reached Santa she was flagging and back to being really shy (although she liked her present; a slightly-too-young puzzle... with a giraffe on it(2).) Mind you, she was wary of Santa the last time she visited one, so she might just not trust big white beards.

Arya is far right, looking overwhelmed.

We spent a little time at the indoor softplay area, but Arya got lost and couldn't find her way out, then fell over while Mummy was trying to find her way in. That was a bit traumatic. Then we had some dinner and went to the shop, where Arya found a pair of My Little Pony beanies that she instantly adored, and a flamingo for Daddy Andrew's Christmas present, which I had to hide up my jumper after we bought it, giving me what Arya tactfully called a 'fat flamingo belly'. Thanks, kiddo.

By this point, it was clear that the pantomime which began at seven was right out, but we stayed for the lights. Initially just some swinging spotlights and blinking fairy lights, these kicked it up a notch when the giraffe statue started to flash and pulse in time to the dubstep carols. Arya loved this, of course, but nonetheless decided that she wanted to go home now, and this felt fair. She conked out in the car and so did I, and when we got home we put her to bed.

Hat selfie.

In the morning she came through to Mummy at about eight while I was creeping about trying to get breakfast ready. She complained of an owy belly and wanted to get dressed, but when we asked if she woudl try to use the toilet she fell asleep again while protesting that she didn't need to. Then she woke up and had cereal and a banana, then more cereal, and in the end didn't eat much of her sausage, egg, beans and bacon at all(3). Once we'd eaten - as per usual, much later than planned - they were off once again, as Arya's best friend Cory(4) was having his birthday party.

So cool.

Thus Sunday was unusually solo; restful, but a bit melancholy. Apparently she was asking to come back to my place on Sunday evening, which is good to know.

Saturday was a long, long day, but a good one, even if I spent most of it without my glasses(5). We were all pretty wiped, but a fine time was had. Giraffes were fed, and Arya even got close to the goats without panicking, which is a huge step forward for someone who not long ago fled the mere presence of a goat.

I can't believe I don't have a picture of the dubstep giraffe at all. Hopefully Hanna or Andrew will have one.

(1) Not an actual quote.
(2) I'm not sure if it's really been clear from this blog, but she loves giraffes. They're her favourite; even more than unicorns and PAW Patrol.
(3) So that was lunch.
(4) He of the 'PAW Patrol is just for boys' claim.
(5) Because I forgot them, not because Arya wanted to borrow my prescription shades.

Bump

Because she's worth it.

It's been a nervewracking weekend, this one.

Friday was okay, although Arya continues to fight sleep with every fibre of her tiny being. I'm certain now that it's because she wants to spend time with us, but it means she quickly gets tired and irritable during the day.

On Saturday we had all the usual activities, and on the way home from TT we went to the park so I could buy drugs(1). Arya wanted Andrew and I to swing her, so we did, but in the cold our grip was not all it could have been and... Look, I wish I could say it was the worst knock of the weekend, but suffice to say that Andrew and I were looking up the address for Puppies, Pianos and Ponyies R Us(2).

We got home and I gave Arya a bath, and she was perfect. No fuss. No trouble. We had a chilled afternoon and all was good until bedtime, when she once more refused to sleep and in the end I had to go because I was ill and tired and grumpy and I didn't want to a) shout at her or b) be the reason that she wasn't sleeping. Hanna eventually got her to sleep, and we all felt kind of bad.

Sadly I was too slow to get a shot of her patting the wooden dog and
showing it her leaflet.

On Sunday we went out to Thetford Forest for a slightly ill-advised picnic and a walk on the Gruffalo orienteering course. The weather was foul, but a good time was had, with just a slight upset when the maypole swing swooped Arya out at 70 degrees to vertical, then swung her back into the central support. Fortunately a) the pole is padded, b) she swung back in as the swing slowed and c) she hung on like a boss. There were tears, but mostly from shock, and she was soon up and raring to go. She was especially excited to see the Gruffalo's Child again, so we missed the end of the trail(3) and went straight to the big finish.

Arya was so delighted with this picture
that she insisted on retaking it, and
pulled her own hat down at the last
moment in the retake.

We went home, where we chilled for a bit watching Room on the Broom and playing games. While Mummy and Daddy Andrew made dinner, Arya got her Doctor's kit out and checked my vitals. One ear turned up a temperature of 43 degrees and the other 42, which she told me wasn't good, because it meant I had blood in my ears. She got the 'ladder' (packing foam from my computer) and made a stretcher to push me to hospital on. to make it big enough, she worked on it with her thermometer as if it were a sonic screwdriver. Then she wanted to attach a suction cup to my tongue (which was broken, she decided) and produced another piece of packing material. I protested that it wouldn't fit in my mouth, to which she responded wearily: "I'm just pretending."

Sonic.

And then she fell off the sofa, which was thankfully the last of her falls for the weekend, and she was none the worse besides a few tears. She's a tough little sprout and no mistake.

She was much better at bedtime, letting me brush her hair without a fuss and mostly lying down when I asked her. It still took most of an hour for her to drop off,. but it wasn't too stressful. I can't say the same for her waking up at half two, insisting on coming to Mummy and Daddy Luke and slapping us about the faces for an hour. I am so tired right now...

They all left this morning, and I got up to say bye-bye. Now I'm in work, staring at things and waiting for them to make sense.

(1) The park is right by the GP's office and the pharmacy where I get my prescriptions filled.
(2) The one stop shop for all your parental guilt purchasing.
(3) Totally on purpose; we definitely didn't take a wrong turn.