Scenes from my family

Arya attempts to engineer an 'accident' for
her insufficiently pink cycle helmet.

On the swings, after about five minutes of constant, high-level swinging:

Arya: Higher!
Me: Daddy's tired, sweetie. 

Arya: Higher! 

Me: We'll have to stop soon.

Arya: No! Higher!

Me: Do you want me to keep pushing until my arm falls off?
Arya: Yes!
Me: Well, you'll have to stop if my arm falls off.
Arya: You've got another one!

Me: You're a true humanitarian.

This followed her attempts to push her blue cycle helmet on the swings in the hopes that it would suffer an accidental breakage and have to be replaced with a pink one, since Andrew carelessly let slip that if dropped it might have to be replaced.

*

Arya eyes up the Arya-sized spaceship in my Guardians of the Galaxy Lego:

Arya: Daddy. Can I play with your rocket?
Me: (Hands her the heavily armed raccoon minifigure.)
Arya: No, the rocket.

Me: This is Rocket!

For posterity not to judge me too harshly, I did explain and I did let her play with the spaceship.

*

Finally, progress in knock, knock joking:

Arya: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Arya: Interrupting cow.
Me: Interrupting cow who?
Arya: Banana!

Arya: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Arya: Banana.
Me: Banana who?
Arya: Interrupting cow!

Money Money Money

In Ely the other day, we took Arya to the toyshop, because Andrew wanted to look at the DIY shop upstairs.

Arya wanted to get this:

It costs £43, so that wasn't happening, but we've been saying lately that Arya has £2 a weekend to do with as she pleases, so I bought her a purse - it cost £2, but no, I didn't charge that to her - in which to save up her £2 a week. I told her that if she makes it to £42 I will cover the extra, because that would be quite an achievement for a 4-year old.

Perhaps even more than I thought, it turns out!

Also in Arya's want list...

First, she wanted to buy a Lego set. She insisted that she had enough money - it was £9, she had £2 - and, when we told her she didn't, tried to run out of the shop with it. She'd been really sweet before and insisted that I had to buy myself a present(1), so the tragic irony of this situation is that I was really inclined to buy her the Wonder Woman vs. Doomsday playset set before she made that impossible.

Anyway, then we got home and she was hungry. She asked me for a cheese and cucumber sandwich - current favourite, especially in pitta bread - and assured me "I've got enough money."

Later she wanted to go to the toilet, and once more insisted: "I've got enough money."

Both times I assured her that she doesn't need to buy things from me. I think she's got the message on that one, and she hasn't tried to buy her dinner since Saturday.

I don't know whether to be depressed that she already believes that there is no such thing as a free lunch or impressed at her perceptiveness.

(1) Totally, geuninely wanted me to get something for myself. Not even something for me that was really for her, or me claiming she told me to get the Guardians of the Galaxy 'Ravager attack' playset.

Knock, Knock

Talk to the hand!

Arya knows exactly one joke:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c...
MOO!

She loves it, although occasionally she either jumps the gun:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow. MOO!

or leaves it a little late:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow who?
MOO!

Last night, I decided to change things up:

Arya; knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.

Cue Arya collapsing in fits of laughter and declaring "orange can't knock, knock!"

I mean... she's got a point.

Super Stories

She then insisted on keeping the t-shirt on
until it was covered in ketchup.

Hanna was delighted that last night's CBeebies bedtime story was about why superheroes don't use their powers to throw super-tantrums - since Arya kicked off at having to wear shorts and a t-shirt to nursery - and more so that it was read by Chris 'Captain America' Evans(1) (part of their ongoing commitment to mums.)

Arya was delighted that there was a penguin in a cape and mask.

CBeebies Bedtime Stories: Something for everyone(2).

(1) He was dead good at it, but then his dedication to entertaining children is well-attested in his Twitter feud with Chris 'Star Lord' Pratt, in which they wagered on sport ball with the loser agreeing to visit the children's hospital where the winner does frequent appearances, in costume. Seriously, those guys are amazing.
(2) There hasn't been as much publicity around stories being read by good-looking ladies, but there have been a few, if not with quite the same current profile as Evans or Tom Hardy.

Conversations with My Daughter

The other day, I was talking to Arya when she mentioned someone called 'Joke-Eye Derek' (or possibly Joke-Eyed Eric,) which is a name guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any parent themselves raised on years of stranger danger PSAs.

"Who's Joke-Eye Derek?" I asked.

"I am!" she replied. "Well, I was, when I was a little boy."

This was a bit of a surprise, so I asked: "When were you a little boy?"

"When I was a baby!"

Well, okay. "I suppose your gender identity is your own business."

Arya looked at me and said almost pityingly: "Oh, Dad..."

Just for completeness, I ought to note that apparently Joke-Eye Derek is in one of my Doctor Who CDs (specifically the Seventh Doctor horrific Cromwellian war-crimes spectacular The Settling.)

Glorious

We're at the Ely food festival. Arya had £2 to spend, and accepted that a bouncy castle turn meant not getting a little spoon (and then the man on the tea stall left us have the spoon free with our packs of tea.)

On the bouncy slide ,another little girl got in trouble and her dad was trying to get her down, and Arya was the only one of the children, most of whom were older than her, to get out of the way. So proud of my little girl.