Moments

This weekend, Arya was at Empire with Hanna and Andrew, so I only got to see her in passing. They dropped by on Thursday to pick up her airbed, and then on Sunday night to crash.

I went out to meet them on Thursday; Arya saw me and ran towards me calling "Daddy Luuuke!" That was awesome. On Sunday I put her to bed and then we hung out a little in the morning putting slippers onto Dr Bear. Both times she refused to give me a goodbye hug, or kiss, or even to say goodbye; I am pretty sure she does this in the hope that I won't go and it breaks my heart to do so.

Did you miss me?

You spin my chair round, baby, right round,
Like a record baby, round round, right round*

This was a slightly odd weekend, for slightly sombre reasons. Andrew's mother passed away and so his family were in town for the funeral, and naturally wanted to see Arya (I cannot fault them in this.) Rather than Hanna and Arya coming to Littleport for the weekend, therefore, I went to Martlesham Friday evening, sat out a family meal on Saturday and we came to Littleport via swimming for a short while on Sunday morning.

I arrived in Martlesham half asleep, but more of me in my other blog. You're here to read about Arya.

It had been almost two weeks since I had last seen Arya (in person,) as she spent last weekend in Leeds with her mother and affiliated grandparents, although we did have a couple of video calls which lightened an otherwise grim and depressing week. Perhaps as a result, I was flavour of the week. Andrew would normally put Arya to bed in Martlesham, but this weekend it was Daddy Luke or nothin'.

I got to see her newly redecorated nursery in Martlesham, which looks delightful and is full of owls (Arya is currently very keen on owls, and we're planning on probably taking her to the Raptor Centre to see owls for her birthday.) She seems absolutely made up about it, which is good going for a young child and a new space. She even seems happy with the cot in its new location. All good stuff.

I fell asleep while putting Arya to bed; I'm not sure how long
for, but when I got up Eldritch Horror was unpacked and set
up ready to go.

I got to spend a lot of time with Arya this week, and good times for the most part. We had a few disputes and she is definitely getting into her stride as far as testing boundaries goes (I just wish she wouldn't do it where there might be cars) but for the most part it was lovely to see her again and to reconnect and to know that she does miss me. It can be hard to tell in young children, but she's so delighted when I'm there on the screen, and more so in person. The real, tangible affection that I feel from her just blows me away sometimes.

* Referencing the original 'You Spin Me Round (like a record)' by Dead or Alive and not the semi-cover about pole dancers, thank you very much. When did the 1980s become a simpler, more innocent age?

Twinges

I didn't get to see Arya this past weekend. Now, every time I pass someone with a small child I feel a twinge; I miss her so much.

Cold (Comfort) Calling

Remember that Arya's selfie face is very
advanced for her age.

That's a slightly misleading title for an entry about getting phone calls from my daughter, as it suggests that it is a slightly empty experience, but the truth is that I am simply making a sly allusion to the fact that the video phone is one of the science fiction elements invariably omitted from adaptations of Stella Gibbons' parody of country melodramas, Cold Comfort Farm.

The truth is that, having not been able to see Arya this past weekend due to her being in Leeds, receiving calls from her and Hanna on Friday and Saturday really made my days. Watching her react to my face on the screen, to my voice and to my words was just amazing. She called my name when she saw me, waved, blew kisses; occasionally switched off the screen trying to reach for me.

Apparently on Saturday she asked Hanna to get her phone out and call me.

I am so proud and so chuffed.

Travels with My Daughter

Arya prepares to draw on something. I don't
think she really cares what.

Arya is about seventeen months now, and quite well-traveled for her age. She's been to Scotland at least three times, to Leeds many and makes frequent visits to Norwich. For all that, she's not an especially comfortable or accomplished traveler, involving as travel does for her, the process of being strapped into a car seat for hours on end and probably visiting someone that her doting parents will want to talk to, possibly distracting for as much as several minutes from the absolute and dedicated adoration of her.

The horror!

Grandpa rocks out; Arya eats a satsuma.
Legs by Granny

It was with some trepidation, therefore, that we set out on this weekend's double journey to Norfolk, first to a birthday party for our friend Jess, where mutual friends quickly felt it wise to move Jess's ornaments to a higher shelf in order to be certain that Arya could not reach them.

Me: I would apologise for the havoc, but I don't as a matter of policy.
Jess: She's a baby.
Me: It's how she rolls. I figure people can suck it up or ask us to leave.
Jess: I can suck it up for that little face.

Arya watches cousin Sebby feed the
chickens

Jess is okay.

On Sunday, having been home for sleep (but not much, as we didn't get home, or certainly didn't get Arya down, until about 10), we went to see my parents. Arya and I spent the day with them, while Hannah saw friends in the city.

My parents live in the wilds of the county, where they keep chickens. For added fun, my brother and his family - including cousins Sebby and Teddy - were also visiting. We brought Arya's purple unicorn, her star bunny, her dolly and a couple of her historically questionable plastic ducks, and we still felt underprepared by comparison.

Arya watches the chickens be fed by
cousin Sebby

Arya was quite taken with cousin Sebby. She has a great affinity for children who look like they know where they're going, and followed him about quite a bit. In return, Teddy followed her, which would have been adorable if she weren't rolling about in a sit-in device the size and shape of a Dalek's travel skirt, which her parents called a walker but I think was more accurately defined as a tank.

Arya and an apple 

Of note was the fact that Arya was very taken with the pull-along helicopter. Being a V-Tech toy it made all kinds of noise, and complained bitterly if ignored, finishing with a snarky "Goodbye" if finally obliged to enter standby. We realised that Arya didn't have any pull-along toys of her own, although she's prepared to give it the old school try with anything, whether or not it's designed for the role.

She went out to the chicken run with Granny and Sebby, where they retrieved some eggs and fed the chickens some corn. Sebby was determined to give her a go, but she wasn't up for it. I'm rather glad really, as I was worried she might try to eat the corn. She'd already had a go at the LEGO. 

Checking the ingredients

We also picked apples from the orchard, and made some LEGO models by the time-honoured method of her bringing me pieces to put together and then pulling them apart if I got it 'wrong'. She's so judgey.

We got home earlier than on Saturday, but not early exactly.

Reading

Yesterday, I had work. Hannah met a friend in town for lunch and then came in to see me for tea. As it was by then four o'clock, I knocked off early to go home with them by car. We went via Boots for wipes (which was harder to do than it sounds), which Arya very much enjoyed reading the packet of (upside down, just so I wouldn't think she was even more precocious than I do already).

Arya & Duck

Hannah picked her up a new book, and her first pull-along toy, which she is so taken with that she tends to carry it everywhere, slightly defeating the purpose (the picture on the right shows a rare exception). we saw a lovely rainbow on the way home, but Arya was on the wrong side of the car to really notice.

This morning I had to put her in the car again. It was a bit of a struggle, and part of me didn't want to fight her since she was on her way back to Ipswich with Mummy. I will miss them both madly for the next few days.

For reference, I've been reviewing some of our shared viewing on my movie and TV blog, My Life as a Doge.

Sleep Dep

The day after Hannah and Arya leave, I always have trouble sleeping. I don't know if it's the absence of them next to me or the fact that I can't hear them breathing, but it gets me every time.

Back to Reality

After a wonderful holiday, visiting Hannah's family in Leeds, Hannha and Andrew have taken Arya back to Ipswich for the next couple of days. As ever, I am missing them already.

While we were there, however, Arya made her first motion towards steps. She can't roll over yet, but with me supporting her, she took three definite steps forward. It seems that she is determined to skip all the middle stages of development, as each time we get one of those lists of 'most babies should..., some babies could..., a few babies might...', she has the should down pat, but seems to be working on the might while ignoring the could.

I suspect that she will never bother to crawl.

Gone baby, gone

Hannah left this evening, taking Arya-Rose to visit her grandmother in Edinburgh. She'll be picking up her mother en route for an extended visit and a four-generational photo op.

I'm going to miss them, especially with all that's going on with her at the moment. At six weeks old, Arya is going to start recognising faces, voices; she's just starting to smile properly, to vocalise in a more complex fashion. She's a long way off speaking, but there will be so much going on that I'm scared I'll miss.

Part-Time Parenting

I guess you could say that I'm a part-time parent, and in some respects that is true. I see Arya-Rose most weekends, but not during the week, and this allows me a level of sleep - in theory - that most parents are denied; or I would do if I wasn't cramming all the writing, planning, video watching and game playing I don't get done at weekends into what I disingenuously refer to as 'the evening'.

But on the other hand, my heart doesn't work in shifts, you know? I don't get time off from worrying, or missing her, any more than being away from her mother makes me stop caring for her. I think that the feeling that I'm missing something, that I'm not doing my best for her because I'm not there, is one of my greatest fears.

I had an unexpected bonus visit yesterday, but spent most of it working on Saturday's game. I told Hannah I felt bad and she said: "You had work to do." I realised then that I hope I never use that as an excuse for neglecting either of them.

Daddy Skype

As mentioned before, Hannah and Andrew live in Ipswich, and Arya-Rose lives with them, so I don't get to spend much time with her during the week.

On the other hand, Hannah sends me several photos every day for me to go all gooey over, and then file away to go gooey over at a later date. Here's one of those:

We've been told that she's beautiful by enough independent witnesses that we can be pretty sure it's not just our bias talking.

I also see them both via Skype most evenings, which is good, although Arya-Rose probably doesn't make much of it. I'm sure she can't see me with my fuzzy webcam picture on a computer screen, but I guess she might recognise my voice. I like to think so, anyway, and it's good to keep up with Hannah and what they've been up to. Her image isn't as sharp as the photos, but I can see her move and hear her gurgle, which more than makes up for a little lack of definition.